Congrats on your 16th birthday! I know we've been waiting a LONG time to turn 16... mostly because we're finally an even numbered age again right? ;) Nah, it's all about driving and dating isn't it? haha.
I was just thinking about all the things I wish I could've been able to tell you. You're probably more concerned with things that might've been, how you look in the mirror and whether or not you'll be asked to homecoming (all logical fears mind you!) than what I have to say now. But take a second to consider the words of someone who knows you better than you currently know yourself.
Chill out dude. There will come a time in the not so distant future where you will be forced to consider much larger fears and choices that have greater consequences, so why are you trying to grow up so fast? Trust me when I say that you will greatly appreciate the time you took to SLOW DOWN and notice the simple things in life.
6 months from this very moment the trivial things you concern yourself with will be so far removed from your mind you'll wonder why they even occupied it. The boys you think are obsessed with you aren't; they're probably more interested in what you can do for them. That's a sad truth. Realize this soon and don't let them influence you.
Learn to be true to yourself. You're not a chameleon; you don't have to adapt to the group you're in. And don't be sad you don't have "groupies". Soon you'll make the choice to jump out of your comfort zone and that choice will help you establish life-long friendships. At the same time though, don't be afraid to say what you're thinking. You'll probably regret not taking the time to get involved with activities going on. Shoot, run for class president. I know you're toying with the idea! Just because you do have those type A tendencies doesn't mean you have to be ashamed of it. So what if you people consider you a goody-two shoes? Isn't the alternative reputation worse? No one has ever, or will ever, ask you to be perfect so you really shouldn't expect that from yourself either, although that isn't license for you to not try your best.
Oh by the way, our parents do actually care about us. Crazy right? But seriously, every time they've asked you about your day, how your date went, what projects you have coming, all those question we thought were annoying? They're actually taking interest in your life because they love us! Don't take too long to figure that one out... it'll save you a lot of arguments.... and possibly a grounding or two. Treat them better. You'll look back at some point and realize how instrumental they were in your development and you'll wish you had thanked them better than slamming the door in their face. And yes, your worst fear is now being confirmed: they really are right most of the time. Swallow that pill and take advantage of their experience!
Last point I want to stress: boys are dumb. Well, not all of them. But high school is the time to find the bridesmaids, not the groom. No matter how smart you think you are, you really don't have your head screwed on tight enough to realize what you really want in a husband. So just don't think about it. At the same time though, don't close yourself off to experiences. Go on dates, get to know guys; some of them will become your greatest friends! When your heart does break, when those annoying thoughts of "what did I do wrong" come in, just remember that everything will one day work for your benefit. When you find HIM, all those questions of "why didn't we work out?!" will be answered and then you'll realize how glad you are that it didn't. Learn to enjoy the hard times because that's how you'll recognize the truly sweet moments in life.
My last piece of advice would be simply this: remember what matters most in life. Are you going to remember winning a volleyball match? Acing a test? That shirt you got on sale? Or will you remember that hilarious night spent camping with the family? The 2 hour conversation you had with a friend who needed you? The service you rendered to someone? Remember who you are and don't get discouraged that you're not perfect. You simply are far from where you were, but not quite yet where you want to be.
I was just thinking about all the things I wish I could've been able to tell you. You're probably more concerned with things that might've been, how you look in the mirror and whether or not you'll be asked to homecoming (all logical fears mind you!) than what I have to say now. But take a second to consider the words of someone who knows you better than you currently know yourself.
Chill out dude. There will come a time in the not so distant future where you will be forced to consider much larger fears and choices that have greater consequences, so why are you trying to grow up so fast? Trust me when I say that you will greatly appreciate the time you took to SLOW DOWN and notice the simple things in life.
6 months from this very moment the trivial things you concern yourself with will be so far removed from your mind you'll wonder why they even occupied it. The boys you think are obsessed with you aren't; they're probably more interested in what you can do for them. That's a sad truth. Realize this soon and don't let them influence you.
Learn to be true to yourself. You're not a chameleon; you don't have to adapt to the group you're in. And don't be sad you don't have "groupies". Soon you'll make the choice to jump out of your comfort zone and that choice will help you establish life-long friendships. At the same time though, don't be afraid to say what you're thinking. You'll probably regret not taking the time to get involved with activities going on. Shoot, run for class president. I know you're toying with the idea! Just because you do have those type A tendencies doesn't mean you have to be ashamed of it. So what if you people consider you a goody-two shoes? Isn't the alternative reputation worse? No one has ever, or will ever, ask you to be perfect so you really shouldn't expect that from yourself either, although that isn't license for you to not try your best.
Oh by the way, our parents do actually care about us. Crazy right? But seriously, every time they've asked you about your day, how your date went, what projects you have coming, all those question we thought were annoying? They're actually taking interest in your life because they love us! Don't take too long to figure that one out... it'll save you a lot of arguments.... and possibly a grounding or two. Treat them better. You'll look back at some point and realize how instrumental they were in your development and you'll wish you had thanked them better than slamming the door in their face. And yes, your worst fear is now being confirmed: they really are right most of the time. Swallow that pill and take advantage of their experience!
Last point I want to stress: boys are dumb. Well, not all of them. But high school is the time to find the bridesmaids, not the groom. No matter how smart you think you are, you really don't have your head screwed on tight enough to realize what you really want in a husband. So just don't think about it. At the same time though, don't close yourself off to experiences. Go on dates, get to know guys; some of them will become your greatest friends! When your heart does break, when those annoying thoughts of "what did I do wrong" come in, just remember that everything will one day work for your benefit. When you find HIM, all those questions of "why didn't we work out?!" will be answered and then you'll realize how glad you are that it didn't. Learn to enjoy the hard times because that's how you'll recognize the truly sweet moments in life.
My last piece of advice would be simply this: remember what matters most in life. Are you going to remember winning a volleyball match? Acing a test? That shirt you got on sale? Or will you remember that hilarious night spent camping with the family? The 2 hour conversation you had with a friend who needed you? The service you rendered to someone? Remember who you are and don't get discouraged that you're not perfect. You simply are far from where you were, but not quite yet where you want to be.
in happy tears i respond to this post. mostly as a mom who hopes her 5 year old will write the exact same letter to herself one day. you know, you just made your mom's life! and i hope certain girls out there read this who are that age you wrote to and take it to heart...for reals. i am proud of who you are niece! loveyalots
ReplyDeletelove this!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Jessica! It's amazing how different life becomes...............
ReplyDeleteLove it! Really well thought out and well stated. Funny how 16 came and went so quickly yet so slowly (:
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm totally down for a button exchange now that I actually have one (:
Love this. I think about this stuff so often, but I've never thought of articulating it in this way. Thank goodness we married who we married, right? Life is so much better than it could have been. That's an encouraging thought!
ReplyDeleteSimply lovely. It's so funny looking at our past selves and seeing how petty and naive we were on so many things.
ReplyDeleteSo love you and the neat person you continue to become.
ReplyDelete