The great thing about this 3rd pregnancy is the delicious sense of "chill" I have. It's not my first time, every bodily change isn't new or quite so painful as the first, and time goes by SO much faster when you're chasing two kids around. I had some personal mile markers during pregnancy that served as bright spots for me; I knew I'd start feeling functional again around 11-12 weeks. I didn't download any pregnancy apps until I thought about it somewhere after the halfway point. I was shocked when my midwife said it was now time to start coming in every two weeks at my 28 week appointment. My brain goes totally blank when I'm asked how far along I am. I just barely bought this baby a few things for the first time last week. I have very few questions during my prenatal exams. I know I hit my very "done" point around 34 weeks (yeah, that's this week!) but I also know that I will eventually have the baby just after I accept I'll be that weird girl on the news that's pregnant for 17 years.
It's just really wonderful to have some perspective on the whole thing. Instead of devoting my time to things I now know are more trivial (ie: nursery, stocked diaper bag, what I'm bringing to the birth center, worrying about fetal development constantly), I can focus on things that I know I'll need more (making sure my nursing gear is fully operational, stocking up on household basics, meal planning/prepping etc.). I'm devoting more time to the present than looking forward to the future. I'm trying my best to make sure I am spending time with the kids. I am more quick to forgive myself and let go of what I'm no longer physically capable of, which always seems to be my hardest challenge while pregnant. I don't use any mental energy to be guilty over taking a nap. It's been easier for me to recognize when a hard day is due to hormones and to tell Kyle, "I'm just having a sad day today". I know I feel worse about myself and my role as wife and mom if I don't accomplish something during the day, even it's as small as sweeping. I made the decision to nest at the beginning of the year and came up with 12 projects to complete, one a week until the due date. This probably has been my smartest pregnancy hack to alleviate boredom & stay busy, accomplish something necessary, while still being flexible enough for the very tired days that happen.
What's even nicer is the overall sense of perspective I have now. I was really worried how Milo would adjust when we brought home Livvy. I did a fair amount of research into handling the whole ordeal and of course, it didn't play out in the way I expected whatsoever. Milo gave her a massive hug at the first meeting and then was uninterested for the first 6 months of her life. I don't think we'll have the exact same reception when we bring home this baby, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was similar. In either case, I'm just not worried about it in quite the same way. I don't have that same feeling of making my kids grow up too fast, or doing them a disservice by bringing a new baby home. In many ways I've been able to focus on my family as a whole unit, knowing that the baby will fit herself into our lives seamlessly and beautifully.
It's relieving to know that a lot of the parenting decisions are no longer a matter of "what do we do about x" as it is a matter of "how do we implement x". And even more relieving to know that you don't really "parent" a new baby so much as just keep it alive for the first year haha. I told my mom recently that I'll mostly need her help with the other kids when she's here, because the newborn will be the easy one - a sentence I never dreamed would come out of my mouth when I was drowning in the overwhelming newness after I had Milo.
What has been the most special part of this whole pregnancy is the constant affirmations that Kyle and I have made the right decisions for our family. 3 under 3 is crazy, and there are days, after one too many timeouts, where I think to myself in horror, "what have we done?!", and every time I'm immediately reassured in some way that this is what we're supposed to be doing. It's been a massive blessing to realize how aware God is of me and my family and it's made me grateful for this pregnancy in a way I didn't know I could be.
It's just really wonderful to have some perspective on the whole thing. Instead of devoting my time to things I now know are more trivial (ie: nursery, stocked diaper bag, what I'm bringing to the birth center, worrying about fetal development constantly), I can focus on things that I know I'll need more (making sure my nursing gear is fully operational, stocking up on household basics, meal planning/prepping etc.). I'm devoting more time to the present than looking forward to the future. I'm trying my best to make sure I am spending time with the kids. I am more quick to forgive myself and let go of what I'm no longer physically capable of, which always seems to be my hardest challenge while pregnant. I don't use any mental energy to be guilty over taking a nap. It's been easier for me to recognize when a hard day is due to hormones and to tell Kyle, "I'm just having a sad day today". I know I feel worse about myself and my role as wife and mom if I don't accomplish something during the day, even it's as small as sweeping. I made the decision to nest at the beginning of the year and came up with 12 projects to complete, one a week until the due date. This probably has been my smartest pregnancy hack to alleviate boredom & stay busy, accomplish something necessary, while still being flexible enough for the very tired days that happen.
What's even nicer is the overall sense of perspective I have now. I was really worried how Milo would adjust when we brought home Livvy. I did a fair amount of research into handling the whole ordeal and of course, it didn't play out in the way I expected whatsoever. Milo gave her a massive hug at the first meeting and then was uninterested for the first 6 months of her life. I don't think we'll have the exact same reception when we bring home this baby, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was similar. In either case, I'm just not worried about it in quite the same way. I don't have that same feeling of making my kids grow up too fast, or doing them a disservice by bringing a new baby home. In many ways I've been able to focus on my family as a whole unit, knowing that the baby will fit herself into our lives seamlessly and beautifully.
It's relieving to know that a lot of the parenting decisions are no longer a matter of "what do we do about x" as it is a matter of "how do we implement x". And even more relieving to know that you don't really "parent" a new baby so much as just keep it alive for the first year haha. I told my mom recently that I'll mostly need her help with the other kids when she's here, because the newborn will be the easy one - a sentence I never dreamed would come out of my mouth when I was drowning in the overwhelming newness after I had Milo.
What has been the most special part of this whole pregnancy is the constant affirmations that Kyle and I have made the right decisions for our family. 3 under 3 is crazy, and there are days, after one too many timeouts, where I think to myself in horror, "what have we done?!", and every time I'm immediately reassured in some way that this is what we're supposed to be doing. It's been a massive blessing to realize how aware God is of me and my family and it's made me grateful for this pregnancy in a way I didn't know I could be.
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| 34 weeks with Milo, Livvy, and Baby Tuft #3 (left to right) |
Jess, I LOVE your blog!! With my last 3--if it was time to change a diaper, then they all got changed! It was 3 under 3, and 6 in six years. I would do it all over the same way. Love you--you look great!!
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