I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what to blog about. The funny thing about having a blog is the weird, compelling feeling that you actually need to WRITE something on a consistent basis. I've considered doing a generic "update", or a bomb *~*~ 2016 Resolutions~*~* post, but I just can't figure out the words to do so. I'm not a fashion blogger, I don't really feel the need to share the recipe I used for dinner, or show the world what's in my purse. Blogging has kinda taken a weird turn over the last few years. With so many out there, do I need to be unique? Can I? Does anyone really need another opinionated blog about the rights/wrongs of same sex marriage? SHOULD I BE THE NEXT MATT WALSH?!?! (lolz). Ironically one of my goals for this year was to blog more. In some way, just the act of writing stuff down helps me to quantify my life and I think that's an important enough reason to have it as a goal. There's a weird line to walk in blogging; deciding what to publish, what to keep private, being careful not to spam everyone's feeds versus not caring what anyone thinks, sharing things that may be helpful and deciding what those are, etc.
Long story short: I'll be blogging more, hopefully at least once a month, but I can't guarantee that it'll interest anyone other than myself. And my mom. Probs.
Anyway, I've set resolutions for myself and we've worked out goals for our family, but most are more personal than I'm ready to publish on the webz. Resolutions are weird for me. I typically have a hard time picking out a word for the year. In the past I've tried "simplify" and "patience", but doing that has always been too abstract and immeasurable for me to work with. If I had to choose a word though, it'd be "Become".
I'm at the tail end of major transitional point in my life. 2015 threw me for a loop and now I'm slowing down trying to regain my bearings. Things I thought were important have now, necessarily, taken a back seat and I'm learning to cope with that. I'm also trying to figure out what things are still worth my time and how to appropriately prioritize them in my life.
I'm a bit of a paradox. I'd love to be settled down with the white picket fence, but that life gives me a weird sense of claustrophobia. I'm 23-years-old with two kids and somehow I feel like I'm supposed to be an "adultier" adult. Half of me still yearns for the carefree college days and the other half is exhausted just thinking about my freshman year. I can picture myself easily being a career shark and I know I'd be awesome at it, but I currently have no desire to do that. I see myself having a PhD but that's not something I'm interested in pursuing either. Sometimes I genuinely don't care what others think of me and other times it keeps me up at night. I want hobbies, but where do you begin? It's not like you can just pick one out from the "hobby aisle". There are real constraints that I've got to work with (ie: time & money), and I don't want a hobby for the sake of having a hobby; it has to actually add something valuable to my life.
In a lot of ways, I feel like I grew up faster than I anticipated and I've been sprinting to catch up to my life's events. I've battled with this odd concept of what people in my position should act like and how different I am. Most people my age are just finishing up school, or pursuing masters/doctorates, starting their careers, traveling the world etc. I'm not jealous of them, but it's sometimes isolating being the odd duck. It's hard to relate to resume worries when you're thinking about nap schedules instead.
2016 is going to be the year that I take the time to figure out what the "adult" me is, and what I truly value in myself. The message I've gotten over and over is to slow down. I've never been at a point in my life where I wasn't looking forward to something. Right now, the horizons are clear with no "BIG EVENT" looming overhead. It's unnerving in a way but I'm hoping to learn how to enjoy the view of it this year.
Long story short: I'll be blogging more, hopefully at least once a month, but I can't guarantee that it'll interest anyone other than myself. And my mom. Probs.
Anyway, I've set resolutions for myself and we've worked out goals for our family, but most are more personal than I'm ready to publish on the webz. Resolutions are weird for me. I typically have a hard time picking out a word for the year. In the past I've tried "simplify" and "patience", but doing that has always been too abstract and immeasurable for me to work with. If I had to choose a word though, it'd be "Become".
I'm at the tail end of major transitional point in my life. 2015 threw me for a loop and now I'm slowing down trying to regain my bearings. Things I thought were important have now, necessarily, taken a back seat and I'm learning to cope with that. I'm also trying to figure out what things are still worth my time and how to appropriately prioritize them in my life.
I'm a bit of a paradox. I'd love to be settled down with the white picket fence, but that life gives me a weird sense of claustrophobia. I'm 23-years-old with two kids and somehow I feel like I'm supposed to be an "adultier" adult. Half of me still yearns for the carefree college days and the other half is exhausted just thinking about my freshman year. I can picture myself easily being a career shark and I know I'd be awesome at it, but I currently have no desire to do that. I see myself having a PhD but that's not something I'm interested in pursuing either. Sometimes I genuinely don't care what others think of me and other times it keeps me up at night. I want hobbies, but where do you begin? It's not like you can just pick one out from the "hobby aisle". There are real constraints that I've got to work with (ie: time & money), and I don't want a hobby for the sake of having a hobby; it has to actually add something valuable to my life.
In a lot of ways, I feel like I grew up faster than I anticipated and I've been sprinting to catch up to my life's events. I've battled with this odd concept of what people in my position should act like and how different I am. Most people my age are just finishing up school, or pursuing masters/doctorates, starting their careers, traveling the world etc. I'm not jealous of them, but it's sometimes isolating being the odd duck. It's hard to relate to resume worries when you're thinking about nap schedules instead.
2016 is going to be the year that I take the time to figure out what the "adult" me is, and what I truly value in myself. The message I've gotten over and over is to slow down. I've never been at a point in my life where I wasn't looking forward to something. Right now, the horizons are clear with no "BIG EVENT" looming overhead. It's unnerving in a way but I'm hoping to learn how to enjoy the view of it this year.
I love your posts, and yes, I read them!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best times of your life you will have. Not that there isn't good stuff to come, but I look back at when I was a young Mama with one or two kids, and I had all this energy for playdates, mamadates, museums, and more. I also feel like it was my time to learn. I learned what foods I liked and what foods I didn't. What advice I liked and what I didn't. Not that it isn't hard with little kids too, but good stuff. Enjoying your blog - don't grow up too fast Jessica!
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY relate to this. Especially the last paragraph. I, too, feel that my horizons are clear. It's exciting and makes me want to blog, vlog, shoot, record, paint, draw, write, walk, run, and even kayak. But seriously, who cares about all this stuff I could do if I wanted to, or if there was any time left for it all? My word for the year is "Cherish", as I truly just want to learn how to BE in the moment and value the little things of a simpler life. I love your blog, girl! Somehow, when we write from the heart, that's all one needs to make the writing connect with others. Excited to read more :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I read these to and I love it! It's too easy for us to look to the next big thing and end up missing out on whatever is going on right in front of us. Happened to me in Oregon. Not going to happen again. Happy to see that you're thinking about it now.
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