I can't believe I said that...

Over the past months, I've heard myself say things that I NEVER dreamed would come out of my mouth. Pregnancy is an incredible and odd journey! Anyway, please enjoy these hysterical examples:

• Do you think people can just tell I'm pregnant? I know I'm not showing, but do they just know???
• IS THAT A BUMP FINALLY?!
• Holy cow. I am the new Doctor. I have two hearts in my body!!
• I think I want toast. No, eggs. Wait, nevermind; oatmeal. No, no. Almonds. Yeah, almonds work
• Honey, I love you, but you can NOT eat that in the house right now
• Does my belly look any bigger? Can you just say it does to make me happy?
• You know what sounds awesome?? Cherry lifesavers and Root Beer!
• Hey, can we walk slower?
• Does her belly look bigger than mine?
• Do I WANT people to see the bump today?
• I probably should have another milkshake...
• I can't go grocery shopping right now. Everything sounds delicious, and yet, nauseating at the same time
• Baby movements kinda feel similar to when you put a marble inside a water balloon and shake it, and it kinda makes you seasick too, but it's WAY cool
• I'm STARVING (food finally arrives...) Actually... I'm not that hungry anymore...
• Oh look! A stretch mark! (said with less and less enthusiasm over time)
• Wait... why did I walk in here?
• I think if I go to the bathroom now, I should be ok for a good hour or so
• I wish all clothes could be organized by age rather than size. Oh wait, no I don't
• I'm feeling particularly turtle-ish today
• Can you help me put on my socks?
• Wahoo! I've gained 5 pounds!
• Can you kinda just push me out of bed?
• Hun - consider this your heads up - I can no longer shave my legs properly
• I don't even remember what it's like to NOT be pregnant. Like, where am I gonna rest my hands when I don't have a belly?
• Is this normal with pregnancy? (said a thousands times over)
• Kyle, I swear my extremities have turned into thermometers. No joke! Once it hits 83* they start swelling up
• I'm so glad I took my ring off when I did...
• Clothes are such a burden
• Well, the good thing about all this new weight is that I can totally dominate on chin pic competitions. I think I've got 8 chins now!
• Would you mind rubbing my feet?
• I think I have my own orbit these days. Seriously, my belly is a planet, complete with a volcano-like belly-button

I'm hoping some of these are at least semi-normal. If not... I just don't want to know!

Also, obligatory bump pic:

Any day now Baby Tuft. Any day.