The Tuft Tales: 21 Days Postpartum

It's been just over three weeks since our lives were completely turned upside down. Three weeks of cuddling, oogling, not sleeping nearly enough, changing diapers with grins on our faces, and attempting to adjust to a family of three. Here's a quick update of how we're all doing over here:

Milo's recovery and health: Milo is a dreamboat. Really, an absolute dream. He's quite content to lay down and just observe this new world he's in. His big, blue eyes take in everything. He cries only when he needs something, and even then his cry is very soft and thin; it's a cry I've never heard from a newborn before, but it pierces my heart every time. Milo is discovering his face muscles. He goes through a billion expressions a minute and it's our favorite form of entertainment! Milo is packing on the pounds! He doesn't fit into any newborn clothes anymore :( We did a rough weighing this week (subtracting my weight from the combined weight of me holding him on the scale) and he was 12+ pounds. Milo had dropped to 7 lbs. 12 oz before my milk came in so we figured out that he gained a little over 4 pounds in 2 and a half weeks. Kid loves his milk. All of his grey/blue skin is completely gone and he's done shedding his newborn skin. This week the popped blood capillaries in his eyes cleared up, making his eyes look bluer than ever. So far his hair has taken a turn towards the blonde end of the spectrum, although in some light it looks a bit red? No idea where that came from. His skin is really clear still. He's had one baby zit that went away in a day, but that's it. Milo is a strong kid. He's already rolled around from his tummy to his back, and vice versa. He holds his neck up and turns his head without help. So far we've discovered that he really does NOT like facing in towards people unless he's exhausted. I may or may not have played a genetic part in that characteristic... Overall, he's doing perfectly.

My recovery: I've actually had a pretty easy time recovering. The first three days after having him I felt like I'd run a marathon. I did some gentle leg stretches and that helped a ton. The bleeding all stopped around the second week postpartum and it wasn't super heavy (tmi?). I have no idea how I got super lucky in that area, but I'm not complaining! I haven't had any of the hair loss or massive breakouts that I've heard is very common, so that's been nice too.

Postpartum body: I'm convinced that nursing has sucked all the fat off of me. I'm actually a bit concerned because I weigh less now than I did before I was pregnant. It's a little nerve-wracking to drop that much weight in a short amount of time. Nearly all my pre-pregnancy clothes fit just fine but my body shape has changed a bit, so some things don't fit like they used to. Stretch marks are still ever present and I have literally no stomach muscles to speak of, but I'm not worried about either. All the swelling is gone and I finally was able to put on my wedding ring! Haven't worn it for nearly 3 months! My appetite has increased dramatically. I thought I was hungry while pregnant... no, no. I did not know hunger until I started nursing. At any given point I can eat nearly anything. Also, I've been craving Mike and Ike's like none other. I think my body just wants the calories honestly. My arms are getting stronger and stronger as I carry Milo around. Next pregnancy I will definitely be doing some weight lifting because lugging around a car seat with a baby, and a diaper bag is not for the weak-armed.

Khan: We have kept our formerly "in-house" cat outside for the most part. Largely because my mom was here for three weeks helping us out and she's allergic to cats. I'm not sure if he'll be allowed inside as much as he previously was. I'm nervous about him bringing in a bunch of germs since he's an expert bird assassin. The first week we had Milo home, Khan snuck into the kitchen where Milo was sleeping in his rocker. He put his paws up on the rocker, looked into it to see what was crying, sniffed, and then promptly went back outside. My best guess is that Khan has realized that Milo can do nothing to serve him, and is therefore completely uninterested. He still brings us birds though, so we know he still loves us!

Nursing: Nursing was an absolute nightmare the first week and a half. My milk came in 3 days after Milo was born and it freaked me out. I swear I was producing enough to feed all of Ghana. I ended up getting Mastitis because I couldn't get the milk out fast enough and the glands got all backed up. Mastitis is no joke people. Milo had some trouble learning how to latch, which ended up in a lot of sore, cracked, and bleeding awesomeness for myself. Thankfully things have sorted itself out for the most part. I'm producing a much more reasonable amount of milk, and Milo and I have figured out the whole latching business. I used to think that nursing was no big deal. Mouth to boob. The end. But oh man, it is NOT. Mom likens the whole process to learning how to drive; you've been handed the keys to a car, and then you realize you actually don't know squat about driving.

Kyle: It has been the sweetest privilege for me to see Kyle become a dad. This week he had to take a moving job from Boise to St. George, and ended up being away from us for a few days. It was really, really hard to have him gone, but I think he had a harder time being away from us. All of the amazing qualities that I saw in him prior to getting married are being exemplified a thousand times over. He graciously gets up with Milo to change his diaper while I get ready to nurse, even though I could do it all myself and he has to go to work the next day. Kyle's really jumped into fatherhood with both feet and is loving every second of it.

Emotions and hormones: I think my hormones have nearly leveled out. It's a bit hard to say as sleep deprivation and being a new mom have brought out emotions in myself that I did not know existed. The other day I was contemplating whether or not I should put Milo on the floor space that's directly below the ceiling fan, just on the off chance the fan fell out of the ceiling. So.

The first two weeks were a bit rough for me. I definitely had some nights where I wanted to throw in the proverbial "nursing towel", or where I felt like a complete and utter failure because I wasn't doing enough for Milo. The night we figured out I had Mastitis was also a record low for me. Having a 103* fever did nothing to help that either. Luckily though, most of those feelings have gone away. It's obviously not the easiest thing to have all sweet and lovely thoughts about a 12 pound bundle of screaming baby at 3 am... but it is getting better. I'm learning to be patient with myself and it's helped.

I've been asked a few times how it feels like being mom; a concept I'm still wrapping my head around. In some ways I feel like I'm rediscovering parts of myself that I knew existed, but I just hadn't tapped into. Kinda like exploring the dark side of the moon. Other times I'm overwhelmed by the newness of it all. I did not realize how easily I could put aside my wants, but yet, doing so has felt so familiar that I know I've had the capacity for a long time. Becoming a mom has felt like coming home to a very new house.