Tuesday, June 13

These Are My Days

Well, it's been a hot second since my last post. I keep waiting until life settles down before I sit and write anything, but then it dawned on me that this is my new crazy and life probably won't settle down anytime soon!

We moved into a new place in North Orem and we love it. We had a crazy situation come up and the landlords of our other house needed to sell their place asap. They told us when I was 36 weeks pregnant and we spent all that week searching KSL and rentler for a new home. I think we walked through 8 different homes. I finally found our current place within 20 minutes after it was posted; I was on the phone with the owner 10 seconds later, and 24 hours after I saw the posting, the house was ours. 2 hours after closing the deal, I got a phone call with my preeclampsia results from my midwife and that story is detailed in the previous post. 9 days after we had Alice, we moved into this house. Having now moved at 8 months pregnant and with a newborn, I legitimately don't know which one is worse. They're both very hard for different reasons (eg: I had to bring my pumping equipment with me while we cleaned out our old house). Maybe just don't ever move?

Anyway.

We had a LOT of help which saved us a million times over. My mom ended up staying with us for 3 full weeks, and my dad even came down for a good week to help out. Kyle's parents watched kids and helped load up the moving van, our friends helped us pack and clean, one of my old YW's leader came over and helped mom, Nicole, and I deep clean our old place, our new ward showed up the morning we moved in and helped us unload everything within an hour, we had at least one person from our ward stop by every day the first 2 weeks we were in, and meals were dropped off/made for us. We were and are extremely grateful for all the help we received.

Between moving and a new baby it's taken some time getting settled in. The kids handled it all like champs all things considered, but we still had/have our rocky days. To their credit, they haven't had a single negative reaction towards Alice at all. At most Milo will cover his ears and say "shhhh" if Alice is crying for a while. It took a few weeks for us to learn where the boundaries are in this place, where their toys were, and for us to get back into our semi-normal routines. Kids are so much more flexible than I think we give them credit for honestly.

It's hard for me to describe the kind of baby that Alice is, in part because I don't think you see much unique personality until after 3 months. The first month of her life she was just a pure little angel. She nursed perfectly, slept 6 hours at night, and never fussed. I'm so thankful for that too cuz it was crazy enough trying to pack, move, and unpack. Her second month was brutal. Between colic, getting mastitis (shoot me), and the resulting lack of sleep, (she'd wake up between 4-6 am every morning), we were all zombies for a while. Alice just cried constantly. I think I ate my weight in chocolate to cope. We got her in to see a chiropractor and her pediatrician got us some colic drops. Between the two, her symptoms eased up quite a bit and we all benefited from that. About a week ago she started gagging at random times and spitting up clear liquid. Having seen this before with Livvy, we took action immediately. Acid reflux sucks because it's so random, but Alice's reflux seemed to peak between 3-6am. She got another chiropractor adjustment yesterday and she hasn't spit up since! We'll see how long that lasts, but we're hopeful.

I think the newborn stage is very tricky if I'm being honest. It's hard feeling like you're constantly giving something to a blob of crying onesies, without any acknowledgement. Alice started smiling at us just as the reflux hit which weirdly made it much easier to deal with. Sure she was up from 3-6, but we got lots of smiles from her so it was worth it? Idk, parenthood is strange.

In between the moments of colic and reflux, Alice's temperament seems similar to Milo's. She prefers to watch things from a distance, and it takes some work to get a smile out of her, especially if she doesn't know you. Alice loves sounds and her binky; two things neither Livvy or Milo had feelings about. Right now it looks like she'll have blue eyes and BLONDE CURLY HAIR that I am stunned over. After a bath she looks like the Sicilian from Princess Bride.

I've decided the very best thing about subsequent kids is the perspective you have as a parent. Instead of feeling like things will never improve, I know it gets better at some point. Even on the hard days I know I'll at least be alive with healthy kids the next day, and some days that's as high as the bar can be for myself haha! It's easier to give myself a break on the days each kid has covered me in some type of bodily fluid. It was easier to get back on my feet and go to parks, splash pads, and grocery shopping. A lot of things in life are easier if you're kinder to yourself I guess.

Livvy's vocabulary had exploded since the move. She frequently asks, "whachya doin?" to everyone. She likes to talk for the sake of talking, even if she has no idea what she's saying. She has NO fear of strangers which is equally relieving and terrifying. Livvy is very attuned to people's emotions. If Alice is crying, Livvy is the first to tell me "Awis sad!", or to come ask me "what's wrong?" when I can't hide tears in any longer. Livvy does a lot of pretending right now. We have a toy picnic set that she'll mimic eating from, and she mimics my scolding finger as I'm doing it to her (annoyingly cute). She's much more dramatic than Milo and throws herself on the floor in classic tantrum style when she feels her life is unfair. She still walks on tiptoes and loves shoes, but her very favorite things are whatever Milo is doing. She adores her brother and has a hard time functioning without him.

Milo is stringing together unique sentences instead of parroting things back to us. He loves to sing "Jingle Bells" in the car and count the motorcycles that we pass. He just exited another growth spurt and is in all 4T clothes with size 12 feet. I lost him in Target last month (still recovering from that) and the employee that found him radioed over the intercom system that someone's 5-year-old was up at the front of the store. We've been working on manners for a while and one morning when the toaster popped up, he said, "Bless you, Alice!". Daniel Tiger has been saving our bacon with the little songs they sing throughout the show. There's a song about taking turns and being calm that he'll sing when the need arises. We recently transitioned him into a toddler bed and I was super stressed about it since sleep is a precious commodity here. I needn't have worried though; Milo will NOT leave the bed until either Kyle or I deliberately say he can. Even during his "quiet time", he'll sit at the edge of the bed, not putting a toe over it until we come in. Who knows how long that will last, but we're not complaining!

They are Siblings in every sense of the word. Milo constantly says, "Wivvy! Come here!" only to smack her around. She likes to pull his hair when they sit in their carseats. They love to wrestle. I was worried that Milo could really hurt Livvy because of his size, but homegurl holds her own just fine. She's a speed demon and very coordinated for her age. If she can't out punch him, she just runs away faster. Livvy teaches Milo new words and Milo teaches her how to use them in context. It's really cool to see. Except when it's "mine". Livvy first said "mine!" when reaching for a toy, but Milo first used it an sentence by saying, "Livvy! That's my car!", so Livvy can now yield the word to great effect. We are now working on the concept of sharing and it's not going well currently! In some ways, having a third kid has felt a bit like having just one again because of how well Livvy and Milo play together. With their ages I still do a good deal of refereeing, but I've had an unexpected amount of time to dedicate to Alice which has been a blessing since it's been needed.

These days, our typical schedule goes something like this:
7am: Feed Alice & get myself ready for the day
8-9am: Kids up, dressed, fed, and ready for the day
10-11:30am: Free play time
11am: Feed Alice
11:30am: OUT, OUT, OUT. I try and get physically out of the house to a park or splash pad at least twice a week. Usually we're outside in our backyard with a big bowl of water & some cups, chalk, bubbles, or picking out rocks though.
1/1:30pm: Lunch
1:30pm: Naps (or Milo's quiet time). Also when I do approximately a million things around the house
3pm: Feed Alice
4/4:30: Kids up, diapers changed
4:30-6: Kids play independently
6:30pm: Dinner
7pm: Feed Alice
7:30-8:30/9: Family time. Usually we go for a walk, sometimes we watch a movie, sometimes we'll play with them and their toys
9-11:30: Kyle and I wind down
11pm: Feed Alice
11:30/midnight: We go to bed

.... even just writing that tires me out haha.

I think the best way I can sum up the transition is that some days I crush it, and other days it crushes me. Right now it's about 50/50 crushing it and being crushed, but the good news is that I know the odds are more in my favor having done this before. Truly, this is probably the craziest time of life for us right now (did I just jinx myself?!). All of our kids have immediate needs and very little independence. But we're also on the brink of that changing soon here. Milo and Livvy are just ~barely getting interested in the toilet (heaven help me!). I spent 20 minutes yesterday day-dreaming of what life with only one kid in diapers would be like. It was a good dream. But right now, parks, bugs, timeouts, sunscreen, reading books, diaper changing, sippy cups, and blankies fill my days. One day, I know, they won't need reading too. Or carseats. Or faces and hands wiped. I've heard I'll miss those things. And I'm beginning to see that might actually happen. I did tear up a bit putting Alice's newborn clothes away - something I hadn't yet done. So I try and bear that in mind on the days I spend 3 minutes in the church building before being thrown up and pooped on.

And on the days I forget you can find me beasting down a tub of Tillamook mint ice cream.




















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