You know those opinions you keep to yourself for so long that eventually you learn to almost tune yourself out? Like you've trained yourself so well to keep a lid on things that it starts to not bother you anymore?
I was ALMOST there until I came across a random social media post where a mom was being absolutely roasted.
She'd posted a plea for help/tips on breastfeeding. She had a 4-day-old baby. Two women decided that the comment section was a perfect spot to rip into each other regarding scheduled feedings or feeding on demand. A third lady told this new mom to just give up and go straight to formula. And a fourth lady chastised this new mom for even asking for help because breastfeeding was such a personal matter.
I LITERALLY LOST IT. My phone was seconds away from being snapped in two!!
I very definitely have my own opinions about everything under the sun. I birthed in a birthing center with no meds, I don't co-sleep, my kids share clothes even though they're different genders, I'm not a huge fan of Barbies, I breastfed, my kids rarely snack, they nursed on a schedule, I slept trained them at 3 weeks old (the horror!!), we didn't use pacifiers, we don't fight them on food; they go hungry instead. Our days are pretty routine; they both take one massive nap in the afternoon, and they sleep from 9pm-9am. I was a working mom, now I'm a stay at home mom. I try and feed them veggies and don't have the current budget for all-organic, non-GMO fruits. We eat meat. They drink whole milk. THEY ARE HAPPY.
But none of that means that I would EVER consider myself a better mother than someone who chooses to do something else with their children. I have made my choices, I feel good about them, and I don't feel like I have anything to prove by shoving my opinions down another mom's throat. I am perfectly confident in my choices while still allowing myself room to grow and change as needed.
I am so tired of seeing women put down other women, while simultaneously, ironically, complaining about how hard it is being a mother.
It is a totally new ballgame being a parent in the world of Google. With literally thousands of reputable studies at our fingertips, we are bombarded with different parenting techniques and "finds" seemingly every day. It is EXHAUSTING to sort through it all (assuming, even, you're a parent who WANTS to sort through it all). For every opinion, there is an equally "studied" opposite opinion. Nearly every week I hear or read something like, "new study shows sippy cups delay potty training", or "co-sleeping linked with reading deficiencies in kindergartners". Who in the world knows what's accurate and what's not? WHO HAS THE TIME TO CARE.
On the flip side of this coin, we as parents also have a really great opportunity to genuinely SUPPORT other parents. Our own mothers weren't able to ask for help in breastfeeding and get such a wide response from so many different people. I have personally benefited from asking that same exact question. There are great resources housed in the device in my pocket that my mom is blown away by. At a time when it is SO easy to give an encouraging comment, instead I see mom's tearing into each other's throats in the name of "caring" and preventing "abuse" to children.
Side note: I have very little patience with people flippantly tossing around the term "abuse", particularly in regards to children. No, allowing your baby to eat gluten is not an abuse. Work in CPS for a better idea of what abuse actually is.
If your child is happy, healthy and loved, and the parents are sane, then I say "good on you! you're doing a great job". In the end, we are all just trying to do our best and raise successful kids. Can we move past the point of disagreeing over differences and simply support and encourage each other when we can? Shame on those that make it harder to do the hardest job in the world.
/end rant
I was ALMOST there until I came across a random social media post where a mom was being absolutely roasted.
She'd posted a plea for help/tips on breastfeeding. She had a 4-day-old baby. Two women decided that the comment section was a perfect spot to rip into each other regarding scheduled feedings or feeding on demand. A third lady told this new mom to just give up and go straight to formula. And a fourth lady chastised this new mom for even asking for help because breastfeeding was such a personal matter.
I LITERALLY LOST IT. My phone was seconds away from being snapped in two!!
I very definitely have my own opinions about everything under the sun. I birthed in a birthing center with no meds, I don't co-sleep, my kids share clothes even though they're different genders, I'm not a huge fan of Barbies, I breastfed, my kids rarely snack, they nursed on a schedule, I slept trained them at 3 weeks old (the horror!!), we didn't use pacifiers, we don't fight them on food; they go hungry instead. Our days are pretty routine; they both take one massive nap in the afternoon, and they sleep from 9pm-9am. I was a working mom, now I'm a stay at home mom. I try and feed them veggies and don't have the current budget for all-organic, non-GMO fruits. We eat meat. They drink whole milk. THEY ARE HAPPY.
But none of that means that I would EVER consider myself a better mother than someone who chooses to do something else with their children. I have made my choices, I feel good about them, and I don't feel like I have anything to prove by shoving my opinions down another mom's throat. I am perfectly confident in my choices while still allowing myself room to grow and change as needed.
I am so tired of seeing women put down other women, while simultaneously, ironically, complaining about how hard it is being a mother.
It is a totally new ballgame being a parent in the world of Google. With literally thousands of reputable studies at our fingertips, we are bombarded with different parenting techniques and "finds" seemingly every day. It is EXHAUSTING to sort through it all (assuming, even, you're a parent who WANTS to sort through it all). For every opinion, there is an equally "studied" opposite opinion. Nearly every week I hear or read something like, "new study shows sippy cups delay potty training", or "co-sleeping linked with reading deficiencies in kindergartners". Who in the world knows what's accurate and what's not? WHO HAS THE TIME TO CARE.
On the flip side of this coin, we as parents also have a really great opportunity to genuinely SUPPORT other parents. Our own mothers weren't able to ask for help in breastfeeding and get such a wide response from so many different people. I have personally benefited from asking that same exact question. There are great resources housed in the device in my pocket that my mom is blown away by. At a time when it is SO easy to give an encouraging comment, instead I see mom's tearing into each other's throats in the name of "caring" and preventing "abuse" to children.
Side note: I have very little patience with people flippantly tossing around the term "abuse", particularly in regards to children. No, allowing your baby to eat gluten is not an abuse. Work in CPS for a better idea of what abuse actually is.
If your child is happy, healthy and loved, and the parents are sane, then I say "good on you! you're doing a great job". In the end, we are all just trying to do our best and raise successful kids. Can we move past the point of disagreeing over differences and simply support and encourage each other when we can? Shame on those that make it harder to do the hardest job in the world.
/end rant
