summer?

Day 5 of being home for the summer. AND I already want to go back.
It's not that Enumclaw is bad at all (well... when it SNOWS IN FREAKING APRIL it is...)

THIS ^ is the first picture of my summer 2011 album.
SAD

it's just that the freedom isn't here anymore.
or the people.
or the roommates
or the things to do
.... or the freedom.
It's 9:05pm as I write this and I have absolutely NOTHING to do. Literally nothing. And the worst part is that I'm not even doing nothing with somebody. I'm doing nothing ALL BY MYSELF. Doing nothing with a roommate or a friend is so much more fun than chilling by yourself.
The weird part is that life in Provo continues to move on without me. Friends still have crazy 24 marathons, roommates, classes. LIVES. While my life continues somewhere else, it's hard to see how much fun they're having.
WHERE IS MY FUN?

Enough ranting Jess, it's not becoming.

ANYWAYS I've been nannying since Monday for my Aunt Carol (http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com), watching her adorable daughters Chloe and Safiya. Yesterday Safiya woke up and said "Jessica! I dreamed of a pink popsicle!" Me being really witty said "Oh, what a sweet dream!" (I then remembered that 2 year olds don't get puns). Chloe chimed in right after 'fiya "I.... I.... I dreamed of EVERY color popsicle Jessica!"
Don't you remember the weird competitions you had with your siblings?
I was reading a book to Chloe about the story of Jesus' birth and after reading about the gifts the wise men brought to Him I said "Chloe, what gift would you give to baby Jesus?" Without hesitating she said "A popsicle. I think he'd really like that!"
Apparently these kids LOVE popsicles.

oh hey and ps: babysitting is the best form of birth control.

check 'em out, check 'em out!

One last family photo shoot:

aren't they beautiful?!

The End of A Beginning.

End of freshman year.
WOW.
Ironically everything I feel like I've learned this year really didn't relate in any way to academics. Okay... maybe I should say that I learned the most outside of a classroom than in one (that actually sounds like I learned some things... ha!)
Anyways, in many ways I feel like this post is a lot like the one I did during Christmas break: a "recap/regroup" if you will. Conversely there are so many new challenges and growing opportunities that happened this semester. A lot more than I can regurgitate or even think about right now. I think I've changed a ton since the end of senior year. Some things that used to bug me no longer have space on my radar. The things I should have been paying attention to my whole life are now filling the space.
Sleep is now a #1 priority.
just kidding!
.... sometimes.
My style has changed a bit as well. Hobbies, "ideas of a good time", food tastes, comfort zones and even BIG life goals have changed. My appreciation for the small things has changed also- I actually appreciate them! In some ways I really feel like I'm becoming the ME I've wanted to be my whole life! In other ways I know of habits and ideas that I have that I would love to change.
The people I've associated with the last 8-9 months have literally changed me. I struggled for a bit watching/observing them because I really couldn't look past what THEY had that I didn't. I think I'm getting better at learning to love the fact that other people are better than me. That probably makes me come off as conceited.... and honestly, maybe I was? Wouldn't surprise me.
It's an incredible thing to realize how much power and potential there is in the differences that exist between the lives people live. Recognizing that has proven to be really useful to me.

On a different note: this last week has been the most emotional one of my life. And not for THAT reason people.
It is the last week of the semester (sorry if that wasn't made clear earlier in the post) and as a natural result of that I've done a lot of serious reflecting on this year and how I've handled myself throughout it. Besides that there's been some tension between really close friends of mine and that's been hard. Not unbearable, just hard. Oh and not to mention trying to deal with the sadness of saying goodbye to the guys in the ward who I realistically won't see again and even to those I know I will see again.. OH and how did I forget? IT'S FINALS WEEK.
So yes, it's been a very emotional journey for this kid lately. Sunday was nice; I got some things resolved personally and our ward had a 4.5 hour testimony meeting. I used to be slightly freaked out by the idea that the church leaves it's expansion to the care of 19 year old boys. Not because I don't trust them, but because I'm friends with a lot of them, and frankly, (as Carly put it) "they can be morons sometimes." After the testimony meeting though, and honestly after this year, I can really say that I have no hesitation in trusting these boys to represent our church and more importantly, our Brother Jesus Christ in the various places they are called to labor.

It's probably one of the most frustrating things ever to not have the creativity or words to clearly put my feelings into the written word. There's just been so much that has happened in the last year, month, week that it's hard to even think about let alone describe. Especially when all I REALLY have time for is to think about how in the WORLD I'm going to understand Chem 105 enough to take the final tomorrow.

ANYWAYS, so I had this really odd moment today. After my Anat final I went to the Benson building to use the bathroom. AND NO ONE WAS IN IT!!
(ps: that bathroom is HA-UGE)
So that fact almost made my day.... (please don't judge, privacy is a precious commodity for any college student). THEN I heard something way weird. This girl at the end of the stall was talking on the phone! Yes, while using the the bathroom. Like.... USING the bathroom.
ummmmm, who does that?
Ok so yeah, I know I have before, but that was when I was in my own home/dorm, and the other person was like... Liz or Nicole or something. Everyone knows it's pretty taboo to talk in public bathrooms. Obviously it's a LOT different when using a girls bathroom versus a guys bathroom. But still. I thought it was just kind of common knowledge that you DON'T do that! No one wants to hear you.... yeah. you know.
Anyone else think that's really weird?

It's so crazy: I'm going to be back in WA by Sunday. What a great birthday present :)
so UNTIL then... have fun with life people! Because life sure likes to have fun with us all. 

because we all fail sometimes. among other things.

Today I was flossing my teeth getting ready to bleach them when I realized something: flossing was REALLY starting to hurt. "That's odd", I thought, "I flossed like the other.... wait when did I last floss"?

MAJOR DECKER FAIL

Somehow I feel like it's a betrayal of the family name to get gingivitis. (That's inflammation of the gingiva people, and gingiva is the gums in your mouth). Gotta love being surrounded by dentists!
Another Decker Fail: my short tongue. My dad's is seriously HUGE, as is Liz's (she's Decker on her mom's side). Scratch that.... EVERY DECKER TONGUE IS LONG. Except mine. Lingual frenectomy here I come!


Anyways, life's been so good :) Kinda by way of explanation... yes, I am dating someone now :) He's awesome! And he shall be known as Mr. Incredible on this blog because 1. he IS incredible and 2. that's my favorite Pixar movie haha.
Mr. Incredible and I are going up to Salt Lake tonight for dinner at Rodizio's and a fashion show afterwards. Have YOU ever wondered what to wear at a fashion show? Because this is a new experience for this kid. Aren't you supposed to get "inspiration and ideas" from these events? It'd be WAY cool if you could just get dressed AFTER the show. Actually no it wouldn't; there'd be a ton of nakey-nakey people everywhere. AWKWARD.
Last night Mr. Incredible, his friend Robert, Kimmie and I all watched Tangled. Please don't live another day without going to see this movie! It's seriously so precious :) However... not to nit-pick Disney... but Rapunzel's body proportions are MESSED up. Her head is bigger than her waist! And her eyes are bigger than her hands... no wonder there are so many misconceptions about bodies these days. I'll save that particular rant for another day though.


The last week of school is coming up! There are a ton of conflicting emotions about this one... I'm WAY jazzed to be done with school, but I am going to miss Provo my friends so much. (Halfway through typing Provo I realized just exactly HOW glad I am going to be to be back in Washington...) Seriously, half the friends I've made are going on their missions for 2+ years. My good friend Jared just got called this last week to Honolulu, Hawaii. What a sweet mission! It's not like I won't ever see these guys again but it's still sad to say goodbye. It's sad to say goodbye to the life I've created here. A friend from home called on Thursday just to check in on me and reality hit: I'm living 2 lives right now. The WA life and the UT life. A lot of that has to do with the fact that my "home" isn't permanent. For example, the WA life was "put on hold" for 8 months while the UT life will have the same fate over the summer. Reconciling the two lives is an odd idea for me to deal with right now. Not to mention Mr. Incredible is staying here over the summer. That'll be interesting.


Oh and btw, finals are coming up. It's a good thing BYU doesn't allow official campus visits for prospective students during finals week because I'm sure application rates would drop significantly if they did.
... Not to scare future students at all. BYU is still as awesome as ever :)


K I'm done now... have a lovely weekend peoples!

Happiness is:

the "walk" sign as you get to the corner of the street
full ink cartridges
a full box of wheaties
pictures that fit PERFECTLY in their frames
an outfit you had no idea existed until 5 seconds ago
blue bic pens
the "go-to" shirt
a good morning text
sunshine in the windows when you wake up
having your iPod set on shuffle and then it plays the EXACT song you wanted to hear
grabbing the last chonga bagel at starbucks
beautifully decorated cakes that are as delicious as they look
a cancelled class
"hey babe"
answers to questions
making the gum wrapper into the garbage can that's across the room
the hair tie that fit perfectly around my wrist. not too tight, not too loose.
a new recipe that's fast and delicious
random people waving to you
not feeling bad for sleeping in
"aha" moments

just little things like that.