the title is just a long way of explaining that I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Today I'm doing better than I had anticipated, which is JUST FINE for me!
To do this story justice, I must explain the events in chronological order though so heeeeere we go!
My appointment was at 10 down in Auburn, so we get there right at 10 (gotta love mom and her punctuality) We filled out a couple of forms and then we sat down to wait for like 5 minutes. Breanne then led me back to the operating room where I was told me to make myself comfy (ummmm excuse me? I'm about to get my teeth yanked on and the only thing you can tell me is to make myself comfortable? is that POSSIBLE in a dentist chair?) Then she starts to ask me some of the basic questions (hold old are you, what have you been doing over the summer, have you had anything to eat/drink? etc etc,) She put that oxygen/ laughing gas tube thing up close to my nostrils, took my blood pressure, and put heart monitors on me. Then we waited for the surgeon to come. One of the greatest things ever about having a family of dentists is that they all seem to know each other really well. This guy was no different and the familiarity was comforting. LITTLE DID I KNOW... they were gonna stick an IV in my arm :( It's a good thing the laughing gas was starting to affect me because even with the gas my heart rate jumped from 52 to 80-something. Anyway, Dr. Molen hooked the IV up to some vial of liquid medicine and said "within about 30 seconds your going to start too feel drowsy". I responded, "oh yeah... I can already....zzzzzz"
I was out in less than 5 seconds.
Ok, now the next part I really remember is me waking up from a nap on the couch at home... but mom has written down everything that happened during the car ride home. From what she's written down I've been able to kinda remember bits and pieces... but she's the one with the full story. No, we did not take a video, apparently mom was laughing/crying with laughter too hard to successfully do that. awesome.
oh, and it's been edited to a G/PG format because it sure as heck was not a PG conversation that ensued from me.
warning: my only excuse is that I was drugged. I have no racial feelings towards anyone, no prejudices against animals, and no recollection of this next conversation
So I get in the car and immediately fall asleep for a good 10 minutes. Keep in mind as you read this that my voice has the drowsy/high/gauze-filled sound to it k?
me: "mooom... is this a new car?" (we're driving our black suburban we've had for nearly 10 years)
mom: no honey, it's the suburban.
me: oh right, right. [pause] THAT is my new car! (pointing to the car in front of us; it's a silver PT cruiser)
mom: I guess so, is that a cool looking car?
me: no it's ugly. I don't want it.
At this point we're coming up the Auburn/Enumclaw highway, and we come to the stoplight by the library. At the intersection, one of the Native Americans was walking across the cross walk wearing all black.
me: MOM! That's a really really bad guy! You have to lock the doors!
mom: ok honey, the doors are locked!
me: I'm just so tired of the Indians thinking they own everything... who the heck do they think they are? gosh dang it.
mom starts laughing and I get offended.
Somehow I ended up telling mom that I wanted to be an elephant because I could have a really long trunk. I completed that with a good wave of the arm to imitate my trunk just so mom would understand what I was saying. I also told her that my lips felt huge; like Angelina Jolie's actually, and that freaked me out.
me: mom, you look like an AVATAR!
mom: really?
me: yeah... hey can you fly?
mom: can I fly?
me: yeah, where's your animal? can't you fly on it?
mom: oh honey... no I don't have my animal.
me: why not?
mom: well, I didn't pass the test. I'm not a good test taker
me: oh.... but mom (I'm crying for her right now) you don't have your animal? That's so sad. I hate tests. I hate chemistry.
mom: yeah I don't like tests either.
me: WAIT! I met someone in chemistry! Didn't I?!
mom: yeah you did, you met Mr. Incredible in chemistry didn't you?
me: who's Mr. I? oh wait... is he nice?
mom: yeah, he's awesome.
me: OH! he brought me flowers!... WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS?!
mom: honey, they died a while ago.
me: what? (crying again) my flowers.... died? (sobbing now)
mom: yeah, flowers usually die; we can only enjoy them for about a week. But he'll bring you some more flowers sometime.
me: how do YOU know mom?
mom: well, because he's awesome!
me: oh right yeah....
We're passing by the White River Amphitheater now:
me: HEY! I graduated there mom!
mom: yes that's right, you did!
me: .... what did I graduate from?
mom: high school honey
me: .... what's high school?
mom: well, it's where you go to school when you're a teenager
me: oh yeah.... I hated high school.
mom: laughing
me: MOM why are you laughing? (I'm crying again) That's not very nice.
mom: (reaching over to hold me hand in comfort) I'm not laughing at you honey...
A couple minutes later:
mom: you know that I love you Jessica, right?
me: well DUH mom, you're holding my hand.
mom: well you know who else loves you?
me: (gasp!) Mr. I loves me!!! (mom was thinking of dad in her head hahaha)
mom: yes he does, but your dad does too you know
me: I have a dad?
mom: yes you do honey
me: oh... is he an animal?
mom: no, he's a Decker.
me: oh, so he's not a dog?
mom: no, he's just a Decker.
me: oh....
and THAT is the last I remember before falling asleep on the couch in my house.
Clearly I have a thing for animals....
Genetics predisposed me to only have 3 wisdom teeth and the side with 2 of them gone is a lot more swollen than the other side. I also had a sublingual frenectomy which has made my tongue longer. Dealing with a long tongue, and a COMPLETELY numb mouth made yesterdays eating attempts interesting. For example, Alyssa had to tell me that I was drooling. Oh, and I took 2 Vicodin fully expecting to be knocked out because one of those things usually does me in. Well after an hour of feeling totally wide awake, I went to go use the bathroom and I noticed that I'm literally foaming at the mouth. It turns out that one of the Vicodin pills was stuck under my tongue and just dissolving there. GROSS. Good thing I couldn't even taste because that would've been disgusting.
Honestly though, it hasn't been too bad to deal with. I love sleeping, so I'm definitely getting caught up on that. And I'm just plugging away on my "to-watch" summer movie list :)
SO, if any of you are in town, and are feeling bad.... I won't say no to some ice cream :) Liz brought me over some DELICIOUS mint fudge brownie ice cream last night. SO GOOD. And thanks ps.
To do this story justice, I must explain the events in chronological order though so heeeeere we go!
My appointment was at 10 down in Auburn, so we get there right at 10 (gotta love mom and her punctuality) We filled out a couple of forms and then we sat down to wait for like 5 minutes. Breanne then led me back to the operating room where I was told me to make myself comfy (ummmm excuse me? I'm about to get my teeth yanked on and the only thing you can tell me is to make myself comfortable? is that POSSIBLE in a dentist chair?) Then she starts to ask me some of the basic questions (hold old are you, what have you been doing over the summer, have you had anything to eat/drink? etc etc,) She put that oxygen/ laughing gas tube thing up close to my nostrils, took my blood pressure, and put heart monitors on me. Then we waited for the surgeon to come. One of the greatest things ever about having a family of dentists is that they all seem to know each other really well. This guy was no different and the familiarity was comforting. LITTLE DID I KNOW... they were gonna stick an IV in my arm :( It's a good thing the laughing gas was starting to affect me because even with the gas my heart rate jumped from 52 to 80-something. Anyway, Dr. Molen hooked the IV up to some vial of liquid medicine and said "within about 30 seconds your going to start too feel drowsy". I responded, "oh yeah... I can already....zzzzzz"
I was out in less than 5 seconds.
Ok, now the next part I really remember is me waking up from a nap on the couch at home... but mom has written down everything that happened during the car ride home. From what she's written down I've been able to kinda remember bits and pieces... but she's the one with the full story. No, we did not take a video, apparently mom was laughing/crying with laughter too hard to successfully do that. awesome.
oh, and it's been edited to a G/PG format because it sure as heck was not a PG conversation that ensued from me.
warning: my only excuse is that I was drugged. I have no racial feelings towards anyone, no prejudices against animals, and no recollection of this next conversation
So I get in the car and immediately fall asleep for a good 10 minutes. Keep in mind as you read this that my voice has the drowsy/high/gauze-filled sound to it k?
me: "mooom... is this a new car?" (we're driving our black suburban we've had for nearly 10 years)
mom: no honey, it's the suburban.
me: oh right, right. [pause] THAT is my new car! (pointing to the car in front of us; it's a silver PT cruiser)
mom: I guess so, is that a cool looking car?
me: no it's ugly. I don't want it.
At this point we're coming up the Auburn/Enumclaw highway, and we come to the stoplight by the library. At the intersection, one of the Native Americans was walking across the cross walk wearing all black.
me: MOM! That's a really really bad guy! You have to lock the doors!
mom: ok honey, the doors are locked!
me: I'm just so tired of the Indians thinking they own everything... who the heck do they think they are? gosh dang it.
mom starts laughing and I get offended.
Somehow I ended up telling mom that I wanted to be an elephant because I could have a really long trunk. I completed that with a good wave of the arm to imitate my trunk just so mom would understand what I was saying. I also told her that my lips felt huge; like Angelina Jolie's actually, and that freaked me out.
me: mom, you look like an AVATAR!
mom: really?
me: yeah... hey can you fly?
mom: can I fly?
me: yeah, where's your animal? can't you fly on it?
mom: oh honey... no I don't have my animal.
me: why not?
mom: well, I didn't pass the test. I'm not a good test taker
me: oh.... but mom (I'm crying for her right now) you don't have your animal? That's so sad. I hate tests. I hate chemistry.
mom: yeah I don't like tests either.
me: WAIT! I met someone in chemistry! Didn't I?!
mom: yeah you did, you met Mr. Incredible in chemistry didn't you?
me: who's Mr. I? oh wait... is he nice?
mom: yeah, he's awesome.
me: OH! he brought me flowers!... WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS?!
mom: honey, they died a while ago.
me: what? (crying again) my flowers.... died? (sobbing now)
mom: yeah, flowers usually die; we can only enjoy them for about a week. But he'll bring you some more flowers sometime.
me: how do YOU know mom?
mom: well, because he's awesome!
me: oh right yeah....
We're passing by the White River Amphitheater now:
me: HEY! I graduated there mom!
mom: yes that's right, you did!
me: .... what did I graduate from?
mom: high school honey
me: .... what's high school?
mom: well, it's where you go to school when you're a teenager
me: oh yeah.... I hated high school.
I'm wearing my EHS volleyball sweats, and I noticed the logo on the side
me: (excitedly pointing to the logo) HIGH SCHOOL!mom: laughing
me: MOM why are you laughing? (I'm crying again) That's not very nice.
mom: (reaching over to hold me hand in comfort) I'm not laughing at you honey...
A couple minutes later:
mom: you know that I love you Jessica, right?
me: well DUH mom, you're holding my hand.
mom: well you know who else loves you?
me: (gasp!) Mr. I loves me!!! (mom was thinking of dad in her head hahaha)
mom: yes he does, but your dad does too you know
me: I have a dad?
mom: yes you do honey
me: oh... is he an animal?
mom: no, he's a Decker.
me: oh, so he's not a dog?
mom: no, he's just a Decker.
me: oh....
and THAT is the last I remember before falling asleep on the couch in my house.
Clearly I have a thing for animals....
Genetics predisposed me to only have 3 wisdom teeth and the side with 2 of them gone is a lot more swollen than the other side. I also had a sublingual frenectomy which has made my tongue longer. Dealing with a long tongue, and a COMPLETELY numb mouth made yesterdays eating attempts interesting. For example, Alyssa had to tell me that I was drooling. Oh, and I took 2 Vicodin fully expecting to be knocked out because one of those things usually does me in. Well after an hour of feeling totally wide awake, I went to go use the bathroom and I noticed that I'm literally foaming at the mouth. It turns out that one of the Vicodin pills was stuck under my tongue and just dissolving there. GROSS. Good thing I couldn't even taste because that would've been disgusting.
Honestly though, it hasn't been too bad to deal with. I love sleeping, so I'm definitely getting caught up on that. And I'm just plugging away on my "to-watch" summer movie list :)
SO, if any of you are in town, and are feeling bad.... I won't say no to some ice cream :) Liz brought me over some DELICIOUS mint fudge brownie ice cream last night. SO GOOD. And thanks ps.
oh and here's a nice little picture Jilly sent me; it made me laugh :)
"Just a Decker"? What's that supposed to mean??
ReplyDeleteLove it!
I need to go change my pants...I am laughing SO hard!!! Wish there was video-graphic proof instead of just written proof ;-)
ReplyDeleteI may have to come back and read this again whenever I find myself in need of a laugh. Just saying.
ReplyDelete