The other day I realized how un-freshman I've become when I parked on campus, ran into the bookstore, grabbed my BYU planner, paid, and ran back to the car in less than 8 minutes. You pick up on all the fast routes over the years I guess.
I didn't have the thought of stopping at the Jamba Juice on campus because I knew just HOW LONG that would take.
Nor did I have the fancy to buy the $10 BYU football shirt this year (ps: it was $5 my freshman year...)
I don't have the compulsion to have all my books together before the first day of classes (don't have a single one yet actually).
There's no need to take a bajillion pictures and title them "first year at BYU".
No significant thought will be taken in planning tomorrow's "first day of school outfit".
I didn't map out my route on the campus map with high-lighter, color coded for each specific class.
I didn't post my schedule onto facebook because I know most my friends won't be taking my classes - something that's bound to happen the further into your major you get.
There's no last minute panicking of "what if I don't have enough pencils?", "I didn't buy _____!!", "What if I have to sit next to an RM in my first class?!"
I've grown weary of feeling awkward asking questions to strangers - I want the answer more than I care about the potential embarrassment now.
These freshman cares have been replaced by an unexpected realization: THIS IS MY LAST FALL SEMESTER. Where did the time go? I was quite positive that my first BYU football game was last week, not 2 years ago. Senior worries are the new replacement, and they're 10x stronger than the ones I had in high school. During senior year of high school all I wanted was to get out. To leave, be independent, make my own way, learn, experience... live. Ironically, approaching this senior year, I don't want to leave for the same reasons. There are still so many classes I want to take, so many things I want to learn. Everyone tells you how difficult it is to return to school once you leave the academic world, but when does one reach a point in their life when they can accurately say, "ok, I'm through with formal learning now, I've learned everything an accredited teacher can teach". If it's so difficult to get back in school... where is the motivation to leave it? But I'm digressing now.
This aha moment nearly struck me to tears; I'm going to really miss BYU. More than BYU though, I'm going to miss the classroom. The due dates, the crazy schedules, the tests, papers, and group projects. All of it.
I'll just need to remind myself of that once the 18 credits I'm registered for starts to rip me to shreds :)
So, self, here's to having the BEST last year at BYU. Here's to pushing yourself, expanding your perspectives and expecting excellence. To aiming higher, remaining motivated and staying prioritized. Because that finish line is nearly in sight and you don't want to regret one single thing.
I didn't have the thought of stopping at the Jamba Juice on campus because I knew just HOW LONG that would take.
Nor did I have the fancy to buy the $10 BYU football shirt this year (ps: it was $5 my freshman year...)
I don't have the compulsion to have all my books together before the first day of classes (don't have a single one yet actually).
There's no need to take a bajillion pictures and title them "first year at BYU".
No significant thought will be taken in planning tomorrow's "first day of school outfit".
I didn't map out my route on the campus map with high-lighter, color coded for each specific class.
I didn't post my schedule onto facebook because I know most my friends won't be taking my classes - something that's bound to happen the further into your major you get.
There's no last minute panicking of "what if I don't have enough pencils?", "I didn't buy _____!!", "What if I have to sit next to an RM in my first class?!"
I've grown weary of feeling awkward asking questions to strangers - I want the answer more than I care about the potential embarrassment now.
These freshman cares have been replaced by an unexpected realization: THIS IS MY LAST FALL SEMESTER. Where did the time go? I was quite positive that my first BYU football game was last week, not 2 years ago. Senior worries are the new replacement, and they're 10x stronger than the ones I had in high school. During senior year of high school all I wanted was to get out. To leave, be independent, make my own way, learn, experience... live. Ironically, approaching this senior year, I don't want to leave for the same reasons. There are still so many classes I want to take, so many things I want to learn. Everyone tells you how difficult it is to return to school once you leave the academic world, but when does one reach a point in their life when they can accurately say, "ok, I'm through with formal learning now, I've learned everything an accredited teacher can teach". If it's so difficult to get back in school... where is the motivation to leave it? But I'm digressing now.
This aha moment nearly struck me to tears; I'm going to really miss BYU. More than BYU though, I'm going to miss the classroom. The due dates, the crazy schedules, the tests, papers, and group projects. All of it.
I'll just need to remind myself of that once the 18 credits I'm registered for starts to rip me to shreds :)
So, self, here's to having the BEST last year at BYU. Here's to pushing yourself, expanding your perspectives and expecting excellence. To aiming higher, remaining motivated and staying prioritized. Because that finish line is nearly in sight and you don't want to regret one single thing.
