oh. that boy is my favorite :)
I had no idea what he was writing about when he was typing away on his laptop a couple days ago, but I kinda liked the surprise of it!
We've officially landed back in good ol' Utah and last night was our very first night in our very first home! The Tuft's came over for fhe and brought with them some Christmas presents and wedding presents for us. It was so nice to see them all again! I love having 2 families, especially ones that are as awesome as the Decker's and the Tuft's.
This past week we've been crazy busy setting up our house, meeting our new ward, clearing out boxes, spending gift cards, setting up married people things (like bank accounts, insurances, name changes yada-yada) and oh yeah... getting ready for school.
Speaking of which:

I was definitely feeling more like Marlin today.

Hope everyone had a great first day back!

Beginnings and Sunsets

So... I heard that a lot of great blogs' first post begins with "So...". Actually, that's not true in either regard; this isn't the first post on this blog, and I don't know if that's true. But, it's the only thing I think of writing for a while after sitting down and thinking about what to write, so that's what I put. And this is my first blog post ever.

Btw, this is Kyle.

Jess is to thank for that acronym entering my vocabulary. She is also responsible for "totes", "presh", "holy moses!", ":*" (although I did invent the slightly more used ":*+*+*+*+*+*"), "kthanksbye", and a host of other vocabulary, both verbal and typed. I just realized as I wrote that, that my word choice has been unalterably changed forever.

Which hints at what I wanted to write about here.

I realize that this blog is about us. But seeings as how this blog used to be dedicated to her life, a lot got written about me. So I wanted to take a moment and write about the Love of my life (yes, that's a capital "L"). I don't think there are words to truly describe how I feel about Jess. I remember the first time that I saw her, in our chemistry class. It was my first BYU class, my first college class after my mission, and of course I was checking out my options in all my courses. The selection wasn't as awesome as I remembered it, and I was thinking I was maybe going to have to make some lifestyle changes in order to meet a few more "friends" I'd be willing to go out with (yes, ladies, if there is a single guy in your sewing class, I'd bet he's not there because he actually enjoys sewing).

Then I got assigned a chemistry partner and my life changed forever.

Our friendship was not a love at first sight thing. Yes, I'd seen Jess in my class, but that didn't mean that she was aware of me. In fact, unless she was uncannily good at hiding it she had no idea I was in there, not with all the other guys available in that class. I was an RRM ("recently" returned missionary) and my brief experiences with the ladies since my mission had led me to believe that as soon as they discovered the extra "R" in my title, my future in their life had a big "X" put on it. Luckily for me, this had jaded me somewhat from being so much an eager beaver in my dating life, and allowed Jess and I to become good friends before either of us even considered dating the other.

Allow me to digress to make a point. I like sunsets. But when I was little, sunsets had no appeal to me. I didn't see what the fuss was about--they weren't that pretty, not compared to other stuff. But over time, I began to appreciate a truly beautiful sunset when I saw one. I began to see why so many were in awe of the way the colors combined and swirled. They weren't just reds, oranges and yellows; they were scarlets and crimsons, tangerines and peaches, dandylions and marigolds. It wasn't that the sunsets changed, just my perspective. I remember well the day that I spent 45 minutes photographing a sunset on a campout in my socks in the snow while the rest of the scouts ran around throwing snowballs and riding ATV's. Obviously my perspective profoundly changed. But it was a gradual change. 

So it was with Jess. When we met, neither one of us had anything on our mind except for getting done with our lab assignments as quickly as possible so that we could run off and finish whatever else we had going on in our lives. Little by little however, I began to see so much more that just a pretty girl. I started to see a woman with many sides to her--an intellectual, a pianist, a homemaker, an interior designer, a medical doctor, a clown, a dreamer, a realist, a disciple, a mother. So many other hues than what first met my eye. She is now everything I have ever dreamed of in a woman, and she's my wife. I love her more than I thought I ever could, just like the little boy who never thought he could find the beauty of a sunset. I love her with all my heart. I never thought I could love this way. And I'm as I grow older, I will appreciate still more sides of her. Most of all, I love the way that she has given me eyes to see still more sides of my own life, and love in ways I never knew I could. As I reflect on our beginning, I realize that if it is any indicator of things to come, our relationship will certainly continue to color our lives and bring more joy to the both of us than what we possibly could ever have imagined.

Thanks Jess. Love you.

--Jessica and Kyle Tuft--

December 20, 2011

Text from Kyle

I got a text from Kyle this morning after a conversation involving kids names we had with his siblings last night at Sunday dinner.

"So. I've been thinking of the manliest name possible, and I've figured it out. Our son's name will be: Chuck Norris."

"We won't be able to have any other boys after that though..."

Hopefully you laughed at that as much as I did... 

Anyway...

Happy Finals Week everyone! 3 days until we head to Seattle!

Bridal Shower

Megan (Kyle's sister) was kind enough to throw me a bridal shower this past weekend with the immense help of her other two sisters Kristen and Lindsay. The shower was held at one of Pam's (Kyle's mom's) friends house and it was a great turnout! It was so amazing to meet all the people that have seen Kyle grow up and who love him. almost as much as I do!
My old/present roommates were able to come and of course, we had to document such a moment.

love them!

and this picture is priceless

so, I've got some news.... :)

Maybe the title is a bit of an understatement? Regardless though, I do have some news. some BIG news.

I'm engaged :)

Due to the scarcity of my posts this news seems completely out of the blue and well, sudden. Even in life it was somewhat sudden, but not unexpected :)
But now it's time for "The Story"; the same story I'm sure I'll be telling my kids for 20+ years just as my own parents have.

Kyle and I got back together on Monday and by that weekend we both had figured out that we wanted to get married. Saturday of that same week we talked about when in terms of what month (is December too soon? April too far? Dare we plan to get married in the middle of next semester?) December was settled on... and on Sunday we set a date (the 20th). This was somewhat of a spontaneous decision... I just told him jokingly, "Well how about the 20th?" and he was thinking that day too. Having it before Christmas would be a bit easier on our families because we'd all be able to RELAX over that holiday, not to mention that it would give us some time to settle in to our place. (wow... OUR PLACE... crazy!)
The following Monday we called our families to give them a heads up. Earlier in the week I had thought that my parents might like to know what was going on... Tuesday we called the temple and cemented the time and place.
And then we got to thinking that we should probably become officially engaged.
So now here's my side of the story. One of these days (like after I graduate single status and become one of those really cute, creative, crafty, photographing Mormon mommies who have the cutest blogs about married/ family life...) I'll have Kyle post his side to everything because let's be honest, I was pretty clueless the whole time.
Last weekend (Oct 28-29) Liz, Josh, Bryson, Lindsey, Caleb, Michelle, Kyle and I were going to drive down to Fillmore, UT so we could all visit Josh's family and because we all thought it would be a nice break from the Provo scene. [I must insert here that this trip was previously planned before Kyle and I set a date]. We get there Friday night and have a good time playing games, eating pizza and visiting with Josh's family.
Caleb and Michelle were going to be coming Saturday afternoon because Caleb had borrowed his sister's ultra nice camera and insisted on taking pictures of the fall colors in the canyon. Once they got there we all loaded up and toured Fillmore. I had a chance to visit my great grandparents' tombstone in the Meadow Cemetery and we also toured the Territorial State Capital building. We were planning on leaving Fillmore around 5 because Josh had a party to be at in Provo at 7 (it's a 2 hour drive), but when we were at the Territorial State Capital building Josh got a call at 3:30 saying that the party was actually at 5. Well I know Josh hates being late so I was fairly insistent that we get going so he wouldn't be too late, but Josh insisted that we go take a drive up to the canyon instead (which looking back on... should've been a HUGE clue!!) So we all loaded back up and went on a drive to the canyon. We rounded this big curve and pulled off to this clearing and got out to explore. Once all the couples high-tailed it in opposite directions, leaving Kyle and I alone by the cars, we took a walk towards this grove of trees. Meanwhile, I'm still nagging Kyle about being really inconsiderate of Josh's time and I had to get back to do homework... yada yada yada. Well Kyle stops along the trail we were walking on, gives me a hug and then pulls my left arm behind my back so I couldn't see it. And then I feel this metal THING slide on my finger (I immediately stopped insisting that we go back!). I gasp, bring my hand around, Kyle takes my hand, gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him.

and of course I said yes :)

Well this whole time, everyone knew what was happening, and Caleb had been hardcore creeping on us taking pictures of the whole thing. (pictures of fall colors.... yeah right!!) So that's how we got some pretty amazing pictures!

After that we all drove back to Josh's house, loaded up and went back home. And then I proceeded to buy my 129 roommates cheesecake in accordance with the deal we made freshman year.

This week has been FULL of planning, as I'm sure the next 6 weeks, 4 days and 22 hours will be!

We're getting married in the Seattle Temple, December 20th and we couldn't be happier!

today was quite possibly the most unproductive day I've had in my entire life.... and I'm actually afraid of loving that fact.

so much homework, so many tests, so much studying and NONE of it got done today.

with 2 classes cancelled, leaving one 8 am class... add a little dose of a very tired woman.... and you have a college student sleeping until 11:30, getting pizza for lunch, coming home and napping for 3 more hours and drifting in and out of sleep for the rest of the evening.

tomorrow is gonna be so fun. 

life.

Dude... life has kinda been like.... AWESOME these last 2 weeks.
(I feel like the fact that Aerosmith just came up on my iTunes justifies that...)
Classes have been going so well! Well, tests haven't been too great, but I'm actually learning the subjects which is a slight improvement from last year. I don't usually test well (in an American education system.... that's not too good...) and that still holds true but the difference is that I can actually regurgitate information back now... IN MY OWN WORDS.
General Conference was exceptional as always. I left the weekend feeling rejuvenated for life in general. Peace was felt, prayers were answered, revelation received... can't complain about that!
One thing I really felt like I needed to do after listening to this talk was to utilize my time better. Not having parents to really guard how much time you spend on the computer was somewhat of a shock to my system last year... and I'm totally owning up to the fact that I took advantage of the freedom. As a result I developed some time-wasting behaviors such as... intense facebook creeping. I did take a week off of facebook winter semester and while I didn't feel like it made me a lot more productive, I got through the week feeling like I had actually lived; like I had stopped to smell the proverbial roses.
I MISS THAT.
aaannndddd.... I pretty much got some personal chastisement on how much time I waste.
The thing is... I don't really DO a lot on facebook. It's hard to explain, but I feel like our society isn't run on an economy that solely produces goods anymore. We've created an information society and we sell that resources that provide the quickest information. It was a BRILLIANT move to create a social network as extensive and arguably user-friendly such as facebook because it gives us information cheap, fast and easily on the things that we as humans love the most: people. I use facebook to find information and as my roommates were attest to this... I'm REALLY good at it. I think somehow dad passed that ability on to me. (He knew more about Kyle than I did at first because he "googled" him...)
After the talk I began to wonder how much of the information I really needed to know. The idea of "good, better, best" came to mind as I sifted through the type of things I found out through my creeping. Yes I could tell you who was engaged, who knew who, how they knew each other, how long they had known each other, where someone went on vacation, if someone liked someone else, who was addicted to Starbucks drink and what drink that was, who was obsessed with cats, Disney movies or longboarding... but did any of that MATTER? Was that the best thing I could do with my time?
Absolutely not. I find it no coincidence that Elder Bednar spoke about genealogy work just prior to that aforementioned talk. Would not the best thing to do with my free time be to further my own family history? To help find people who could benefit from the knowledge that I have and the resources I have to do what they can not do for themselves?

This essentially is a long-winded way of explaining the fact that I'm going on another facebook fast this week. Yes it's pleasant to find out that someone you grew up with is engaged (ps: WHY does that seem to be happening ALL. THE. TIME?) but stuff like that shouldn't detract from what's really important in life.

now if you'll excuse me... I'll just hop off my soapbox now.... and go eat my sandwhich :)

Pictures of the recent weeks:

true Northwesterners right there.

Change.

I'm not entirely sure where to start...
LONG story short: Kyle and I broke up. How's that for an introduction?
And that's about all the explanation I'll be giving here. That and the fact that I still firmly believe him to a remarkable guy and that life's been a little hard since. Understandably so I think?
You know how they say that everything happens for a reason? Sometimes I think they forget to explain that finding that reason is perhaps the hardest thing to deal with. Well at least in my case it has been, I really shouldn't generalize my feelings to everyone I suppose.
I think there's a lot to be said for trials. Trials is too strong of a word, maybe... difficult circumstances? 
Did you know that you have muscles in your soul, feelings, brain and spirit? Did you know that they can be stretched VERY thin?
But guess what happens to stretched muscles; they become stronger and more refined and that's what has happened to me. However difficult things have gotten I feel as though someday I'll benefit from them. In fact to some degree I have already. There's a strength that I've come to rely on far superior than my own and I absolutely know that if I had not turned to the Lord for support then I'd be nowhere near where I currently am now. Recently learned lessons of complete trust in His plan for me, the fact that His plan is the one I must not only follow but earnestly seek, and that this plan will make me happy has comforted me when nothing else could. My eyes have been opened wider to see how blessed I am for the things that I do have. The love of dear friends, my family, and always and especially my Heavenly Father. The opportunity I've had to learn how to accept correction, instruction, guidance and change has seriously humbled me. I've never felt more close to Christ than in these past couple of weeks and I believe that I needed to be sufficiently humble before He could help me. Sometime I think we learn best from Him when have only Him to rely on. I've learned that life is never as bad as we make it out to be. The attitude in which we face circumstances can change the results we see. I am here at a phenomenal university, utilizing my fully function and healthy body to further increase my knowledge. I am learning life lessons. I have food, clothing (LOT'S OF CLOTHING....), friends, family, housing, finances, support groups, the gospel, opportunities and God in my life. How can life be anything but a blessing? No matter how bad things seem, no matter how hard something seems to be, THINGS WILL GET BETTER. And someone always is worse off. Counting my many blessings has proven and shown to me what God has done. He has given me everything that I have: isn't it interesting that the only thing we as humans have a right to claim as our own is our ability to choose? And yet that is what He asks of us, to submit our will and accept within our hearts His plan, not knowing beforehand the answers to the questions, the changes we'll go through or the difficult circumstances that we'll endure.
Yes it's been hard, my weekends are drastically different these days (I'm watching Mansfield park on my bed, in my sweats, eating cookie dough on a Friday night) but I can't say that I would go back and change how things happened. They did happen for a reason and maybe I don't know why that is now, but I have hope that someday I will. 

ohhhhhh snap

Life has this awesome way of keeping you super humble.

My humility lesson is staring at my face. It's name is physics 105.

I left class both Tuesday and Thursday totally jazzed because newsflash, "I GOT IT!".

Then I started to do the homework....

And now how am I supposed to figure out the x and y coordinates of where the shell exploded relative to its firing point without even so much as the acceleration of the final velocity of the shell? I mean seriously?

Or better yet, how do I find the speed a ball thrown at 37.4* needs in order to reach the same height the first ball thrown straight up in the air reached? And I don't even have any info on the velocity or acceleration of the first ball (which I could've used to determine how high it ended up getting).

Moreover... when am I ever gonna use this again?

Never? oh, ok... uhhhh why am I in college?

In all seriousness though I'm actually enjoying my classes more than I thought I would this semester. Physics is actually pretty cool especially once you "get it". You get this wicked sweet "I-can-explain-why-ANYTHING-moves" feeling. Granted it's only the 2nd week of school, so I probably won't be saying that later.

Funny enough the movie Despicable Me has cemented a physics term for me. When Vector is first introduced on to the screen he says "I go by Vector. It's a mathematical term, represented by an arrow with both direction and magnitude". I have no idea why I remembered this from the movie, but now every time Prof. Stokes says "vector" I think...

So far I've been keeping pretty busy. It's so nice to be able to have things to DO these days. Stressful yes, but I'd take stress over boredom ANY day. I got called to be the Relief Society Secretary on the first official Sunday here and that's been a good...learning (*ahem, ahem)... experience already. Last night the presidencies had a huge meeting at the Bishop's house were we essentially created a ward draft and filled EVERY possible calling with people. That was really neat to watch come together. Seriously, in 3 hours we built a ward. hollah.

I figure by now that most of the people already know Mr. I's true identity from his visit to WA... so I can drop pretenses now :)

Kyle's been great :) It's so super nice being in the same state... kinda odd sometimes. Odd as in "are we really here together now?" type of thing. Not odd as in a bad odd. Never a bad thing :)
We're actually taking physics together. He of course understands everything immediately after it's all explained. Sometimes I think I'm dating a sponge because he literally just absorbs information that well.... meh. So yeah, things there are going well :)

Ummmm lemme see..... roommates are fabulous! I'm living with both Liz and Carly again, but we got a freaking awesome new roommate named Hillary this semester. She's so cute! We secretly call her Hilla. Because it's kinda like "hollah!" AND because Liz accidently called her that once. It's like a cross between her nickname and her real name.

Yeah anyways....

The first weekend back we got a huge group of us together to go to the disco skate. You got a discount for dressing up! I forgot how much I liked roller-bladding...

This past Labor Day weekend was full of... well taking advantage of how little homework I had and how much free time. So I slept and read for most of it. A luxury I know I'm going to wish I had in about a week. Actually like right now.

Yup well, so that's life as of the first nearly 3 weeks of being back in p-town. It's crazy how fast those weeks have gone by. Time seems to be slipping past my fingers at a crazy insane velocity recently (yes, I totally just dropped a physics term. oh yeahhhh!). Maybe I'm like... getting old or something?

Liz, me, Carly, Hillary on 'Runway Sunday'

First day of school!

Disco Skate Night!

Oquirrh Mountain Temple, Utah

reflections on my summer

holy moses.
So about a billion and a half things have happened since the last post and I'm finally getting a small moment to try and capture all of it!
First off, I'm back in Provo! But before I delve into how awesome it is being here, I really feel the need to share some of the things I've learned about nannying for Carol and Scott.
That job proved to be one of the biggest blessings I've ever had. Yes it was difficult on every level sometimes, but it was truly worth it.
One of the more poignant qualities I got to work on was my patience level. Seriously, you can't work with children without learning to become patient to some degree. From the bathroom accidents that could happen up to 3 times a day, to the spilled goldfish crackers all over the "just-washed" floor, I found plenty of times to grow more patient.
I grew to learn that attitude makes all the difference. Carol's optimistic perspective really forced me to analyze my own way of dealing with tragedies. I don't feel like the problems that I've had in my life compare in any way shape or form to her own problems but yet she still CHOOSES each day to be happy. Carol lives for her girls and because Chloe and Safiya are still too young to understand what happened to her, she decides daily to focus on the positives because that makes her a better mother to her daughters. She chooses to be happy because dwelling on the unchangeable past and regretting her circumstances is only going to make her future equally regrettable. 
I learned how to value my blessings. When things were rough; dinner was burning, dishes everywhere, toy bins exploded, girls are fighting and thus in timeouts AND the phone is ringing, I would get so flustered and frustrated with everything. It took every once of control that I had to not lash out or cry. One day in the middle of such an event I thought to myself "Even as bad as things are right now here, Carol would give absolutely EVERYTHING to be in my position." The idea humbled me and forced me to be grateful for the fact that I could run around and pick up toys, that I could fold the laundry and do the dishes.
Carol taught me to not be judgmental. She's naturally a very accepting person anyways so this wasn't too much of a surprise for me but to illustrate my point I shall give an example. Carol had a lot of different doctors visits that I chauffeured her to and from. She would often tell me all about these doctors; their ages, children, hobbies, children's hobbies etc. From this I would start to build a picture of what these people should look like and more often than not I would be seriously taken back when I actually met them because they wouldn't look ANYTHING like what I imagined. If I didn't know anything about these people I really feel like I wouldn't have given them the time of day based solely on their appearance. Not only did this make me feel awfully guilty about my own shallowness but it illuminated my own personal pride too. Soooooo long story short, I'm working on not being judgmental because I know I personally hate that in other people.


I really felt blessed to have the chance to work for Carol this summer. There are times in my life that, when I look back on them, I realize were true miracles. I consider my summer job experience to be one of them.


Anyway, I'm back in Provo now and I'm LUVIN' it! It's been a crazy awesome week of unpacking, decorating, moving around, meeting people, getting classes worked out and of course grocery shopping :}


This semester is gonna be a blast! :)

Because I Can: explanation

Since the creation of this blog I've felt like I needed to explain the title of it; "Because I Can" and today is just the perfect combination of a cloudy-misty-gray forecast, relaxing schedule and my own personal literary inspiration to do that.

"Because I Can"...

when the idea of a starting my own blog first occurred to me I was sitting at the kitchen table reading all about the adventures of my good friend Claire's experience during her study abroad in Vienna. As I read through it I was astounded by how amazingly well she wrote; it inspired me deeply. But I was 3 months away from ending my senior year and honestly... nothing in my life at the point I deemed worthy of "blogging". Not to mention the fact that I regarded owning a blog something "older people" did and it would be just plain weird if I joined their ranks. I'm all about finding the perfect starting spot; it's why I start any goal on a Sunday or a Monday (depending on the goal) and preferably at the beginning of the month. I figured that as soon as I got to college in the fall my life's excitement would increase tenfold and that I would finally have the smarts to write what was happening down in some awesomely complex-yet-simple sentences worthy of putting on the internet.
Well the first of September came and went quite insignificantly and I still hadn't started a blog. To be honest, I didn't even think of the idea because of every other crazy change that was going on at the time. It wasn't until about the 3rd week of school as I was sitting at my laptop after church that the idea came, again, to my brain.

Having no idea where to start I just typed out "blogspot.com" and went from there. As I contemplated on the title I knew I wanted something really simple (less is ALWAYS more in my opinion) but also something that spoke powerfully to me.

And then it just came.

I have done a lot of things in my life just because I could. Not all of these things were necessarily right, but I did them none the less and as a result, I've grown. The agency behind that simple sentence has been explained to me in ways that I can't possibly begin to convey here. The ability to choose one's own way is such an integral part of my religion that, sadly, I've often taken the knowledge of WHY we have that gift for granted countless times. And what a gift it is! I'm not really talking about being able to choose between that lime green or pink shirt (although let's face it, I'm REALLY glad I can do that... pink isn't my thing). I'm talking about being able to choose when to laugh at someone's misfortunes, or not. Choosing to pick up the binky for the frazzled looking mom or pretending you don't see it. Choosing to read your scriptures even-though-it's-1:37 am-and-I-probably-won't-even-remember-what-I-read-anyways or not.

From the moment we get up our choices build on each other. Because I choose to not wake up on time, I now have to choose whether or not there is time for a shower, that choice might determine what I wear, how much time I have for my morning prayers, what I eat for breakfast etc. etc. At the end of the day I sometimes try and remember ALL the decisions I've made throughout my wanderings. Even the unconscious ones (did I actually choose to put that sock in the washer? Or was I just on auto). Most times when I do, the phrase "have I done any good in the world today" jumps out at me, usually as a reprimand because I could've done a lot more good if I had just slowed down, listened, and really prioritized my "to-do" list. Agency, I believe, is an essential part of our purpose here on earth and I hope that by becoming aware of this significant detail that I can make the most of my time here.


"Because I Can" also is a declaration of my belief in myself, which I will be the first to tell you, the depth behind that belief is oftentimes quite shallow. I believe we call it a work in progress. It was quite alarming this week to realize that I'm sometimes that only one who doesn't believe I can accomplish a task. I have a hard time realizing that my Heavenly Father really and truly loves me. UNCONDITIONALLY. The type-A part of my personality seems to be in a constant competition with myself to "be better, do more, run faster, jump higher, be kinder, BE SUPERWOMAN" and it ticks me off when it just seems like I can't be doing everything to make Him pleased with me. One of the most valuable lessons I've learned, and one of the most touching experiences for me, was when a friend suggested that I just "ask Him what He thinks of you". A part of me was entirely too scared to do this because you know, just WHAT IF He isn't happy with me? What if I wasn't kind enough the day before to warrant His love?

But I prayed anyways and guess what... I know He loves me. Better yet, He is pleased by my efforts to follow Him.

The phrase "Because I Can" serves as a reminder to me of that love. It reminds me that I need to believe in myself because He does and He is perfect.

I hope that serves some explanation to my title choice. To be fair, when I first created the blog I had no idea how those words ended up on the page. My fingers just typed them. Over the course of the what, 11 months? that I've continued on here the meaning behind the words has been made known to me in very personal ways. I hope that those reading it will understand that it's not meant to sound arrogant. (In the back of my head I can hear a 5-year-old explaining to his mom that he threw the cat "because I could!!") It's my mantra on life; to regard each moment as an opportunity and to believe in myself in those moments.

win.

Carol: So jess, do you listen to a song that goes "....shufflin...?"
Jess: oh yeah, "everyday I'm shufflin". That one?
Carol: YES! Yesterday Chloe and Safiya were saying that one line over and over and over. I guess you guys listened to it on the radio at the pool?
Jess: oh yup, that's called the Party Rock Anthem... and yes, we often rock out to that one... 
sorry.


secretly, this pleases me greatly. I'm such a great influence.

3 weeks...

well... only about a billion and a half things have happened this past week and a half...
but most importantly... Mr. I came to visit! It was a flippin blast having him here and of course, the weather would cooperate for him. It's been cloudy literally EVERY DAY this summer and then the day he lands it's nearly 80* right up until he left again this morning.
Friday I gave him the grand tour of Enumclaw (that took 5 minutes...) and got ready to volunteer at my parents Ragnar Relay Race up in the Bellingham area. We got back super late and slept in Saturday morning. Then he kindly reminded us that it was our mother's birthday that day... (seriously, all the kids forgot. how great are we?) so we flung ourselves into a tizzy cleaning and decorating for her. It was my friends' pre-wedding bbq that night so we went there and ate delicious food :) Oh, and then we went and saw Captain America! It was a really great movie!
Sunday he got to meet everyone in the ward and then right after Sacrament meeting we loaded up our Suburban to go up to Lopez Island in the San Juans. We crabbed, kayaked, hiked, fished and camped until Tuesday night. We split our Seattle adventure into 2 days Wednesday and Thursday. Wednesday we hit up the Freemont Troll, Ivars, the Arboretum and Japanese Gardens at UofW, Ballard Locks, and then this delicious restaurant called Poppy. Thursday we met my uncle at the temple to get his work discount card for the science center and spent some time on the grounds there. Then we loaded up and went to pike place, the infamous gum wall, the aquarium, the space needle, the pacific science center, the imax theater... HARRY POTTER 7 in 3D baby! and then this delicious restaurant called Tokyo; it's the type of place that makes the food right in front of you and lights things on fire :}
Friday the whole family went up to the Sunrise trail at Mt. Rainier and did a wonderful hike there to Shadow Lake. (Have I mentioned that my state is BEAUTIFUL?!) and then we went to another bbq for my mom's work. After the bbq we ended the night with a glorious showing of the original mission impossible :}
Saturday was slightly nuts... we met up with jillian and liz for a wonderfully waist-band-popping breakfast at the kettle, then I enlisted Mr. I's help in running around trying to help Carol and Scott get things ready for Grandpa Decker's 70th birthday party bbq for a while. We got ready for the bbq and then went to it and afterwards my parents took us to see Cowboys and Aliens. (also another good movie :D)


His flight left super early this morning and yeah it was hard, but it's only 3 weeks until I'm back down in p-town again for school.
Oddly enough, the summer seems to have flown by. I remember the first week of being home I thought August would never come. 4 months was a REALLY long time to wait! Now looking back on it... I'm beginning to panic slightly at where the time went. Seriously? Where did it go? And how much of it did I spend moping/waiting for the next big thing?
I'm determined that I will make these last 3 weeks spectacular for not only myself, but I think more importantly for my family, chloe and safiya. (No one likes a grumpy nanny! :P)


Anyways, here are a couple of pictures from this last week. Mr. I got most of them honestly, but I did manage to capture a few!

that time again...

I'm actually having a really hard time coming up with a bunch of A&A moments... It's like my life is so pathetic I don't have any AWESOME moments, but so awesome I don't have any awkward moments too.
ANYWAY.

Awesome:
- Chipotles :) Carol, Chloe, Safiya and I all went to eat there on Friday... The Scott Decker family has officially lost their Chipotle virginity :)
- Safiya FINALLY pooped in the toilet! I really don't think I need to explain this one, but let me just tell you that no one will appreciate this as much as those who have had to change little kids' outfits 5+ times a day due to accidents.
- Jack Bauer or more generally, 24. Mr. I has been hooked on this show all summer long, telling me the latest Jack Bauer-ism every time we skype. Lucky for me, mom has a netflix account soooooooo, I've slowly started my "conversion" into 24. It's so intense!
- having my hair re-colored. So unnecessary.... yet so awesome.
- ummmm THE HARRY POTTER PREMIERE!!!! And the fact that our entire family breakfast conversation was comprised of breaking down the details of the movie and listing what we liked and didn't like. It truly was the BEST movie of the series... although it is fairly sad now that it's over. It's like the last tiny bit of my childhood has completed and I'm now officially an adult. ew.

Awkward:
I actually have one of the greatest awkward stories for this section...
- My Aunt Erin's youngest child Kaia was participating in a soccer camp this week and as part of the camp the parents of the participants were asked in advance if they would be willing to put up the coaches for the week. Erin volunteered to do so, and on Sunday the Decker's had a big family dinner at their house in which we all met Rick and Dan, 2 British soccer coaches. Yes, British. Anyways, too make a long story short, Dan asked if I wanted to go on the quad with him around the trail that was in the big field behind the house to which I said yes (because I love 4-wheelers :D). Well, after like the second loop around the trail, he stopped the quad in the middle of the field. I sincerely thought that something was wrong with the quad, but I was VERY wrong. He turns around to face me and says...
Dan: So how many other British men have you met?
Me: Well, during club soccer my coaches would sometimes have British trainers come in to help us out a bit...?
Dan: But, I'm like... the only one you've had a legitimate conversation with right?
Me: ummm, I think so...

AND THEN HE KISSED ME.
awkward? yes. unwanted? YES
After getting home from the dinner, I check my facebook and I see that I have a friend request from Mr. British. Turns out he's listed as married....
LUCKILY I questioned him about it and he says that it's just a really really close friend from back home.... but I'm still wary of it.
since then he's been unfriended and blocked though... and now he's outta sigh outta mind. BUT... the whole thing was essentially my only really intense awkward moment of the week and henceforth deserved some mention here.
- I really have a hard time taking compliments.... Carol had some friends over this week from Ohio and I was needed to help her play hostess. She was explaining to them who I was and listed some of the things I've done and overall just painting a really flattering picture of me. It was odd for me to stand their as her friends appraised me because I felt like they were getting a false impression of who I am (hello, I'm NOT that girl she's talking about... I've made WAY more mistakes than she's giving me credit for!) but I also didn't want to contradict Carol because well 1. that would've interrupted her and 2. I didn't want to seem ungrateful for her words. So I just turned red with embarrassment instead.
Honestly that's all I can really think of right now. This week was really exhausting because of everything that Carol & co had going on but it's been nice being so busy because it makes time go by faster.

5 more days until Mr. I is here!!!

The travel bug really IS a chronic condition and while I haven't been bitten as much or hard as she has been, I've still got this itch to leave the US and TRAVEL. The older I get the more I realize exactly how ignorant I am. History has never been my forté and I wish that I knew more about different cultures. People fascinate me. I love seeing the interactions between groups and trying to riddle out why they respond to each other the way they do. I am really excited to take my sociology class in the fall for this very reason. Liz recently told me about this International Language Program that allows you to travel to 4 different countries (depending on the program you choose) and teach English for 4 months to the children there. AND it's only $2,500! (room, board and airfare). I'm seriously considering doing that next summer because the timing in between school would be PERFECT.

So that's my current state of events. Nothing too exciting here!
have an awesome and NOT awkward week this week... I know I will! :)
ps: did I mention Mr. I is coming this week? yes? oh... I did. ok just checking :)

A & A Saturday!

awkward:
- At Silverwood Ethan and I ended up waiting for the other family members to get done with their rides. As we waited, I took him to go get some Dippin Dots and we ate them sitting on a rock nearby the roller coaster mom and dad were on. In comes one of the grounds caretakers with his broom & dust pan contraption. He stopped in front of us and said, speaking to Ethan, "oh isn't that nice, your mom is willing to share her dippin dots with you!" Ethan and I looked at each other, and he must have caught the glance because he quickly back-tracked and said "unless this is your sister..." People... do I really look like a mom?
- I bought some aviators a couple of weeks ago but this week was the first time the weather has been cooperative enough to let me wear them... so I did. I wore them to Carol's house and immediately after I got in the doorway Safiya and Chloe come up to me and proceed to tell me I look like a puppy with them on. WHAT?
- being stranded in a public restroom.
- it is unbelievable what you see at a public swimming area. Silverwood is also a waterpark and while there I quickly learned exactly how popular my name is. I went to go use the bathroom (where awkward moment mentioned above occured) and as I was walking back I heard a somewhat familiar voice start saying my name but I couldn't see the owner of the voice due to the crowds, so I started to walk in the direction of the voice. The crowds literally parted and I was able to see the owner and I realized I was 2 feet away from him. It was NO ONE that I recognized. Worst off, this guy was HUGE, with long greasy I-haven't-seen-a-shower-since-I-was-a-baby hair that hung down in silver, stringy sections all over his head with a matching beard and chest/back hair. The beer belly this guy was sporting made him taller laying horizontally than he would be standing up and he was wearing shorts so short they should have been made illegal. AND I WAS STANDING THERE 2 FEET AWAY JUST STARING AT HIM.
- awkward facebook im'ing silences. FB has launched this new update and it allows you to add people to your im'ing conversation... liz, jill and I experimented with this last night and I often found myself waiting to type anything because I was sure one of them would say what I was thinking. This led to an increase in "awkward silences".


awesome:
- my tan/burn line I got this weekend!
- ummm hello? It was the FOURTH OF JULY... > yes that's my favorite holiday. I love fireworks :)
- I started working full-time for Carol this week. I really do love going over there to help everyday. Plus I get a nap-time too when the girls go down to sleep :)
- Speaking of the girls... as Chloe, Safiya and I were driving to pick-up Carol from hand therapy, Chloe asked me to play a "rock-out" song. So I flipped through my iPod to the techno playlist and put on some Daft Punk for them. Within 5 seconds Chloe turns to me and says "Daft Punk? nice... do you have this song?" (she actually named a song there but I forgot it) and proceeds to rock out in her car seat as Safiya starts chanting "daft punk, daft punk" in a tune much like Agnes sings in Despicable Me. Imagine my surprise! This kid is 4 years old!
- Goodwill thrifting. Liz, Jill and I have become quite the thrifters these days :) Why spend more then you have too right?
- Mr. Incredible comes to Washington in 12 days!!! :)

my happy list

1. family dinner's where all we do is go from one movie quote to another- laughing hysterically all the while.
2. piecing together new outfits.
3. black and white photos of ANYTHING.
4. trendy blogs with trendy people.
5. being productive. being lazy.
6. my quote wall and quote book I share with these gals: Liz, Jill, Nat, Carly and Kimmie.
7. going through old photo albums of my parents' lives.
8. no make-up days
9. vacuum lines in the carpet. (I got so OCD about this once that I crawled all over my bedroom furniture just to avoid ruining them).
10. finding that perfect quote that captures not only what you're thinking but what you're feeling as well.

A & A

Awkward:
-yesterday at church this guy comes up to me (he's been known to do that), shakes my hand, then stares at my right cheek. I finally had to tell him that yes, I did get my wisdom teeth removed and that's why it's swollen. He then said "oh, ok yeah that makes sense" and then moves right along to hitting on me. again.
- coming out of anesthetics. no matter how hard you try to be "normal" something weird always comes out of your mouth.
- having to have someone tell you that you have applesauce/smoothie/ice cream/bread crumbs all over your mouth.
- long, drawn out goodbyes. Although this one is mostly just sad :( Yesterday 2 of my good friends had their farewells because they're leaving on missions, today actually. Since a ton of people were there it was kind of difficult to say a heartfelt goodbye when they're trying to meet and greet everyone else that was coming and going. They'll be great missionaries though :)
- sneezing when you've had oral surgery. it just hurts.
- being super drugged on Vicoden during church and falling dead asleep.
- explaining to bunches of people for the 2398561049852345 time that you're NOT engaged.
- the bruising that's starting to appear on my jaw. no, I wasn't viciously attacked, but it would make for a better story if I was!


Awesome:
- Vicoden. I'd be in a world of hurt without it. Actually I'm just going to say that medicine in general is just plain awesome. It was a lot more comfortable for me to be knocked out during the surgery than it would've been if I was just deeply under anesthetics.
- being able to eat again today!! yay for no more bread and applesauce diets!
- the flowers Mr. I gave me :) SO BEAUTIFUL
- planning out our summer last night as a family
- Dad finally got a rod installed in my bedroom so I hang up my clothes!! :)
- seeing Carly this past week and being able to spend some time up in Leavenworth with Jill and her.
- less than one month until Mr. I comes to Washington!
- tan lines
- the new shoes that Liz brought over last week; my boots have finally arrived!!!
- one of mine and Mr. I's friends got engaged this past week. Brian and Erin are one great couple and I'm super happy for them.




Anyway, here are some pictures from the trip Jill and I went on with Carly last week. We had so much fun :)

this makes me laugh every time I see it :)

So there's the beginning of my week. Make it a great one people!

awwwww :)

well take away the fact that I can't smile due to the size of my cheeks.... 

Mr. I got me flowers :) he's so good to me :D
apparently "mama knows best... " (see previous post, and yes, that's a tangled quote!)

ending the life of my teeth of wisdom

the title is just a long way of explaining that I had my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. Today I'm doing better than I had anticipated, which is JUST FINE for me!
To do this story justice, I must explain the events in chronological order though so heeeeere we go!
My appointment was at 10 down in Auburn, so we get there right at 10 (gotta love mom and her punctuality) We filled out a couple of forms and then we sat down to wait for like 5 minutes. Breanne then led me back to the operating room where I was told me to make myself comfy (ummmm excuse me? I'm about to get my teeth yanked on and the only thing you can tell me is to make myself comfortable? is that POSSIBLE in a dentist chair?) Then she starts to ask me some of the basic questions (hold old are you, what have you been doing over the summer, have you had anything to eat/drink? etc etc,) She put that oxygen/ laughing gas tube thing up close to my nostrils, took my blood pressure, and put heart monitors on me. Then we waited for the surgeon to come. One of the greatest things ever about having a family of dentists is that they all seem to know each other really well. This guy was no different and the familiarity was comforting. LITTLE DID I KNOW... they were gonna stick an IV in my arm :( It's a good thing the laughing gas was starting to affect me because even with the gas my heart rate jumped from 52 to 80-something. Anyway, Dr. Molen hooked the IV up to some vial of liquid medicine and said "within about 30 seconds your  going to start too feel drowsy". I responded, "oh yeah... I can already....zzzzzz"

I was out in less than 5 seconds.



Ok, now the next part I really remember is me waking up from a nap on the couch at home... but mom has written down everything that happened during the car ride home. From what she's written down I've been able to kinda remember bits and pieces... but she's the one with the full story. No, we did not take a video, apparently mom was laughing/crying with laughter too hard to successfully do that. awesome.
oh, and it's been edited to a G/PG format because it sure as heck was not a PG conversation that ensued from me.


warning: my only excuse is that I was drugged. I have no racial feelings towards anyone, no prejudices against animals, and no recollection of this next conversation


So I get in the car and immediately fall asleep for a good 10 minutes. Keep in mind as you read this that my voice has the drowsy/high/gauze-filled sound to it k?


me: "mooom... is this a new car?" (we're driving our black suburban we've had for nearly 10 years)
mom: no honey, it's the suburban.
me: oh right, right. [pause] THAT is my new car! (pointing to the car in front of us; it's a silver PT cruiser)
mom: I guess so, is that a cool looking car?
me: no it's ugly. I don't want it.


At this point we're coming up the Auburn/Enumclaw highway, and we come to the stoplight by the library. At the intersection, one of the Native Americans was walking across the cross walk wearing all black.
me: MOM! That's a really really bad guy! You have to lock the doors!
mom: ok honey, the doors are locked!
me: I'm just so tired of the Indians thinking they own everything... who the heck do they think they are? gosh dang it.
mom starts laughing and I get offended.


Somehow I ended up telling mom that I wanted to be an elephant because I could have a really long trunk. I completed that with a good wave of the arm to imitate my trunk just so mom would understand what I was saying. I also told her that my lips felt huge; like Angelina Jolie's actually, and that freaked me out.


me: mom, you look like an AVATAR!
mom: really? 
me: yeah... hey can you fly?
mom: can I fly?
me: yeah, where's your animal? can't you fly on it?
mom: oh honey... no I don't have my animal.
me: why not?
mom: well, I didn't pass the test. I'm not a good test taker
me: oh.... but mom (I'm crying for her right now) you don't have your animal? That's so sad. I hate tests. I hate chemistry.
mom: yeah I don't like tests either.
me: WAIT! I met someone in chemistry! Didn't I?!
mom: yeah you did, you met Mr. Incredible in chemistry didn't you?
me: who's Mr. I? oh wait... is he nice?
mom: yeah, he's awesome.
me: OH! he brought me flowers!... WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS?!
mom: honey, they died a while ago.
me: what? (crying again) my flowers.... died? (sobbing now)
mom: yeah, flowers usually die; we can only enjoy them for about a week. But he'll bring you some more flowers sometime.
me: how do YOU know mom?
mom: well, because he's awesome!
me: oh right yeah....


We're passing by the White River Amphitheater now:
me: HEY! I graduated there mom!
mom: yes that's right, you did!
me: .... what did I graduate from?
mom: high school honey
me: .... what's high school?
mom: well, it's where you go to school when you're a teenager
me: oh yeah.... I hated high school.

I'm wearing my  EHS volleyball sweats, and I noticed the logo on the side

me: (excitedly pointing to the logo) HIGH SCHOOL!
mom: laughing
me: MOM why are you laughing? (I'm crying again) That's not very nice.
mom: (reaching over to hold me hand in comfort) I'm not laughing at you honey...


A couple minutes later:
mom: you know that I love you Jessica, right?
me: well DUH mom, you're holding my hand.
mom: well you know who else loves you?
me: (gasp!) Mr. I loves me!!! (mom was thinking of dad in her head hahaha)
mom: yes he does, but your dad does too you know
me: I have a dad?
mom: yes you do honey
me: oh... is he an animal?
mom: no, he's a Decker.
me: oh, so he's not a dog?
mom: no, he's just a Decker.
me: oh.... 




and THAT is the last I remember before falling asleep on the couch in my house.
Clearly I have a thing for animals....


Genetics predisposed me to only have 3 wisdom teeth and the side with 2 of them gone is a lot more swollen than the other side. I also had a sublingual frenectomy which has made my tongue longer. Dealing with a long tongue, and a COMPLETELY numb mouth made yesterdays eating attempts interesting. For example, Alyssa had to tell me that I was drooling. Oh, and I took 2 Vicodin fully expecting to be knocked out because one of those things usually does me in. Well after an hour of feeling totally wide awake, I went to go use the bathroom and I noticed that I'm literally foaming at the mouth. It turns out that one of the Vicodin pills was stuck under my tongue and just dissolving there. GROSS. Good thing I couldn't even taste because that would've been disgusting.


Honestly though, it hasn't been too bad to deal with. I love sleeping, so I'm definitely getting caught up on that. And I'm just plugging away on my "to-watch" summer movie list :)


SO, if any of you are in town, and are feeling bad.... I won't say no to some ice cream :) Liz brought me over some DELICIOUS mint fudge brownie ice cream last night. SO GOOD. And thanks ps.

oh and here's a nice little picture Jilly sent me; it made me laugh :)