Let me digress...

Mormons can be very judgmental. Granted, I could be saying this only because they're the people I've been around the most for most of my life, but it's true. I'm guilty of it and I'm not going to pretend to deny it. I was thinking about that today during Sunday School, not because it was provoked by a specific judgmental comment, but because of my own thoughts. I wasn't expecting my Sunday School teacher to be as good of a teacher as they were. Rude of me, it's true.

Sometimes I think that as a religious culture we place too much emphasis on the works that we should be doing. Granted I do think that they're necessary and that we SHOULD be trying our best but I think we overlook the importance of grace in the process. That's not to say that grace is all that we are saved by because I firmly believe that works and grace are both needed. Having that perspective (of both works and grace working together) helps me to keep in mind that I don't have to be perfect which is something that I think a lot of Mormons think they have to be. Just because I failed to make cookies for the people I visit teach, or didn't prepare a beautifully arranged musical number to emphasize my talk, or didn't fold that persons laundry etc. etc. doesn't make me a bad person. Granted doing them would make me a better person, but that's why we have grace and the atonement. To help fill the gap between our natural, human selves and between God.

And I used the word granted a total of 3 times. Far too many.

miracle.

our bodies are a miracle.

someone divine had to organize, create and order the organs, muscles and tissues into something spectacular.

 

something that would house a spirit.

one unique spirit, to one unique body.

no apes here.

just saying.

Results!

Yesterday I got an email from the volleyball coach. Instead of trying to paraphrase it I just thought I'd copy it here:

Hi Jessica,

First of all, thank you so much for coming out on Thursday night to participate in our open tryout.  I was very impressed with the turnout, the level of talent, and the amount of passion for the sport of volleyball that everyone brought to the court.  (You particularly!)  I think everyone had a terrific time!  I hope that was the case for you too.  You particularly impressed me with your enthusiasm and strong knowledge of the game.  It is obvious you have played at a high level.  Unfortunately, we cannot offer you a position on our spring team at this time.  I am glad however, that you went for it.  I know you love the game.  If I can ever do anything for you, just ask!

All my best,

Shay

So... not the best of news.... but definitely not the worst! It almost sounds like one of those template emails administrators send out; they just personalize it by putting in a number code that codes for specific compliments. Much like report cards in high school. Either way, I'm way glad that I tried out. Never leave one opportunity untried right?

Question

My friend recently posed this question to me: 

If I had to choose to follow one rule in life, would it be "spirit of the law" or "letter of the law"?

     What a great question! My personal answer would be the spirit of the law, but I do believe that the "letter of the law" (the commandments, rules and guidelines we're given) are put in place to help us keep the spirit of law. So I wouldn't say that I would do without those either.
     On Sunday I watched a movie called States of Grace with a couple of friends. To get a quick idea, it's a church video on missionary work. 2 missionaries in San Diego are tracting daily; one of them has 3 weeks left to get home, while the other one is obviously a "greenie". Although church movies are fairly cheesy, this one broke the mold. I would highly recommend it! Anyways, in one part of the movie there is a hobo living behind a dumpster and the missionaries see that this man is sick. The older companion wants to help him so he thinks to take the hobo back to their apartment until he is healthy again. The younger companion wants to help, but he also knows that they can't have anyone spend the night in their apartment. So the older companion says "Look, you can either keep the commandments, or you can break the rules". Meaning, I think, you can either love your neighbor or you can ensure no one stays overnight in the apartment.
     Faced in that situation, what would I have done? I've thought about this since the first time I saw the movie almost a year ago and I still have no answer. How often in life are we faced with that same type of problem? Follow the Spirit of the Law, or follow the Letter of the Law?
     I hope that it doesn't sound like I have no intention on following the rules and commandments we've been given; I firmly do believe that by following those things we can better become people and more Christ-like. My brain was just sparked by this wonderful question and I had to spill out my thoughts onto some writing form.

Never in a million years

When I turned 8, my grandpa commented on how fast I was growing up. He said, "in just 4 years you'll be in Young Women's!". 

Let's get this straight people, 4 years is a LONG time to an 8-year-old.

I was so excited when I turned 12; FINALLY, no boring achievement day activities! On the way home from Aunt Brie's salon mom actually cried because "her baby girl was all grown up and wearing mascara!". She said "I can't believe this, soon I'll have a 16-year-old in the house!".

FACT: 4 years is STILL a really long time to someone who is 12.

When I turned 16, I was pumped to be able to drive and date. The "2 D's" as they were known. Freedom was at my door, and there was nothing stopping me. Life was all about me and I wanted to take every advantage I could. Dad said "just 2 more years and you'll be out of the house!"

ANOTHER FACT: 2 years to a 16-year-old is an eternity.

Now that all the "milestone years" have passed I like looking back on my 8-year-old mind set, trying to imagine how I thought the next 4 years until I hit 12 would play out. Never in a million years did I think that I would grow to rather dislike primary. Never did I think that N'Sync would go out of fashion, or puka shell choker necklaces, polos from Aeropostale and multi-colored plastic bracelets.

When I was 12, I had no idea that I would meet one of my best friends. That I would go to EFY, get my hair cut short, spend $65 on Etnie shoes that went out of fashion that same year, get a job, find my testimony, move downstairs into the basement and quit playing soccer.

16 came and went. Never in a million years did I imagine that Evie Mejia would be my first date, that I would loose that best friend I had made, and because of that, I'd make even MORE friends, that I wouldn't get my license on the day of my birth, that I would seriously date people from my own town and that I'd be driving my grandpa's truck everywhere.

Now that I'm 18, I still can't believe how my life has turned out. 8 year olds have no idea what to consider mapping out their lives and I was no different.

But as I was walking to the RB today, I had this thought, 

"NEVER in a million years would I have thought that I'd try out for BYU's (a D1 school) volleyball team". :)

Sensations I Love.

SMELLS
- mint
- peppermint
- spearmint
- (^ you get the idea?)
- gasoline
- freshly cut grass
- the smell of rain on hot pavement
- white board markers
- new volleyball shoes
- Starbucks
- sharpie markers
- walking into the house after fast sunday and smelling homemade rolls
- dove shampoo and conditioner
- country apple lotion from bath and body works
- cotton
- downy "April scented" laundry softener
- original febreeze
- fresh snow
- garlic, olive oil, and mushrooms. and butter
- popcorn :)
- baby lotion
- a camp fire
- seafood
- fog

TOUCH

- a newly pumped volleyball

- silk on my legs

- shaved legs

- conditioned hair

- squeaky clean teeth

- .... being clean in general

- snowflakes on my face

- a hug

- sleeping in "just-washed" sheets

- "no dust" shelves

- water balloons

- piano keys under my fingers

- sand on my dry feet

- sun on my back

- the classic: wind in my hair

- the warm cocoon my blankets make

- snuggling

- the dry humid air the dryer vent blows out

- touch screen anything

- charmin 2-ply toilet paper... hehehe!

- clean dishes; without the soap residue

- anemones on my fingers

SIGHTS

- the older couple going on a walk hand in hand

- the sunset you see from a remote location when you're alone

- the happiness on the teammates faces when you beat your expectations

-  the very rare A grade mark

- the empty and clean sink

- the made bed

- vacuum lines in the carpet

- the aquarium full of fish

- the views from the Hubble Space Telescope

- the first frost of the fall/winter

- spiderwebs with beads of dew decorating them

- the lights and disco ball on the dance floor

- the quote wall of my dorm

- the circle we roommates form when we say our prayers

- flowers in a vase

- the Grecian sculptures from white marble

- the detail in the architecture found all over Europe

- the vineyards of Italy (haven't seen directly... but seen via TV and the Internet)

- all the family at huge family get-togethers

-Seattle
- a smile

SOUNDS
- Beethoven's Midnight Sonata
- crickets and frogs late at night
- the fire cracking after an exhausting day out on the water
- mom and dad's laughter from their room
- "I love you"
- silence
- a windstorm
- laughter, from anyone
- "hello"
- the ticking of the clock above my bed
- men's acapella groups
- Come Thou Fount
- snow falling
- an intense rainstorm
- the stillness of an abandoned trail in the woods
- the crunch of leaves
- the ding of the microwave
- the zipping of zippers
- the running of the dishwasher
- "I'm sorry"
- "Thank you"
- alto singers
- heartbeats
- soft snoring

FEELINGS

- the completely crossed off "to-do" chart

- realizing that you learned something knew

- going "behind the scenes" into someones life

- the stomach drop of a roller coaster

- the adrenaline of a big match

- the endorphin high after a run

- being the answer to somebodies prayer

- serving

- praying

- the burning of muscles

- the satisfaction of saying what was on your mind

- being understood entirely

- forgiving and letting go

- a full stomach

- not being tired

- being loved

- loving in return

- knowing I don't have to be perfect

- the satisfaction of knowing I did the right thing

- making my parents proud

- accepting myself

- that Christmas glow

- Washington water sliding down my throat

- a perfectly executed pancake (it's a volleyball term)

- feeling like you taught someone something valuable

- knowing in whom to put my trust in

- being trusted

Only at BYU

      Sometimes I feel like a BYU poster child. For crying out loud, my first Halloween costume was a BYU cheerleaders outfit. Mom went to BYU, dad went to... the OTHER BYU. (Just kidding dad :D). I've always wanted to go to BYU, I bleed blue and white etc. etc.
But honestly, there are somethings here that ONLY happen at BYU.

1. Only at BYU would you calculate the density of a cube of gold that is 10.0cm on each side (with the density of gold being 19.3g/cm^3) and then have someone yell, "THAT WOULD BE HEAVIER THAN THE GOLD PLATES!!!"
2. Only at BYU would you see strollers rolling around campus and hear moms comparing stroller brand names.
3. Only at BYU would you hear professors telling you exactly which gas stations provide caffeinated drinks.
4. Only at BYU could your professor accurately tell you that their teaching subject was ordained by God and have it verified by a prophet.
5. Only at BYU will you hear complaints about girls wearing too short skirts.
6. Only at BYU will you hear chatter about how the conductor doesn't have her timing just right.
7. Only at BYU will you be surprised to see a beard-laden man.
8. Only at BYU will you see people dressed up as Mario and Luigi being chased by the clouds on Halloween.
9. Only at BYU does a party mean lots and lots of BYU brownies, pizza and board games.
10. Only at BYU do you have a testing center that allows you to eat and doesn't have a time restriction on the test.
11. Only at BYU would someone ask you "What type of hot chocolate is that?" when you bring in your thermos to class.
12. Only at BYU would you get invited to a "Dress like your favorite Nephite" party (and then laugh when you realize that no guy has the abs the Nephites did.... then subsequently feel a pang of disappointment...)
13. Only at BYU would you not feel bad about missing a devotional given by a General Authority because "there will always be one here next week!"
14. Only at BYU will you devour pizza bagels by the handful.
15. Only at BYU will you have to worry if the really cute TA has a ring on the left hand.
16. Only at BYU will you feel slightly rebellious saying "crap!"
17. Only at BYU is it acceptable to parade around in your footie pajamas.
18. Only at BYU would see a guy and a girl in your class, meet, date, and get married within a semester.
19. Only at BYU can you see intramural team names such as "How to Kill a Blocking Nerd" and "4/2000s of the Warriors".
20. Only at BYU will you read the police beat in the Daily Universe and laugh about the man in the gorilla suit "scaring the residents of F. Smith Hall".
21. Only at BYU will half of your Book of Mormon class be related to the same great (x 8) grandparents that you are related too as well.
22. Only at BYU will you play 20 questions trying to figure out where your guy friend is going to be living for the next 2 years.
23. Only at BYU will you hear Sons of Provo blasting from Jamba Juice.
24. Only at BYU will you walk by some random guy and hear him say "Bonjour" to you.
25. Only at BYU will you hear someones accent and wonder where they served their mission.
26. Only at BYU will the head of the Neuroscience Department be your 2nd Counselor.
27. Only at BYU will you know someone named Mahonri.
28. Only at BYU will you feel obligated to stop and salute the flag when it's raised and lowered every day.
29. Only at BYU will "Settlers of Catan" be considered a sport.
30. Only at BYU would someone mutter "Freak that guy is a genius... I bet he's one of the 3 Nephites...." in a PDBIO 120 class.
31. Only at BYU would the number of guys you've KISSED been judged.
32. Only at BYU would there be NCMO's instead of one-night-stands.
33. Only at BYU would those who date a lot NOT be considered a player.
34. Only at BYU can guys act totally feminine and it will be completely acceptable.
35. Only at BYU does the freshman 15 come from an excess of brownies and creamery ice cream.
36. Only at BYU will the 1st counselor encourage dating; over the pulpit; in Sacrament meeting.
37. Only at BYU is it second nature to ignore the talk of marriage.
38. Only at BYU will you see people praying over their lunch at the Cougareat.
39. Only at BYU will you pay, once a month, to NOT eat on a Sunday.
40. Only at BYU will you have to find a small, empty space that isn't being used for Visiting/Home Teaching on the last sunday of the month.
41. Only at BYU will there be a Crave (clean + rave = Crave)
42. Only at BYU will people be lulled to a party by Red Bull and Mountain Dew.
43. Only at BYU will you get dressed in the morning with thought of "what if today is the day I meet my husband?" in the back... VERY back of your mind.
44. Only at BYU would you feel irreverent talking in the JSB and JFSB study areas.
45. Only at BYU will you hear Jon Schmidt's "Waterfall" being played in the WILK 2 dozen times in a day.
46. Only at BYU is cheering for University of Utah grounds for excommunication.
47. Only at BYU is it considered sacrilegious to not have consumed a J-Dawg.
48. Only at BYU will groups of people randomly break out into perfectly harmonized choirs singing Disney songs at the top of their lungs.
49. Only at BYU would your ward hold competitions for which hall can index the most names in a month.
50. Only at BYU would you have 4 wedding announcements on your fridge at any given day.

And that basically sums it all up.
Anybody else have any "Only at BYU..." moments?

Oh, and welcome to the Y!

Essence of Newness

     Here at BYU there are about 16,499 girls who play the piano. (That's one less than half the estimated student population for the record...) So out of all these girls, there is always someone available to play for all the various needs throughout the day. Ironically, I'm one of these girls, but I've been able to pretty much stay clear of all chances to play... because playing in front of people is nerve-wracking.
Correction: I HAD been able to stay clear of these chances...

Until last Thursday.

None of the classes that I had in my first semester sang hymns before class so it's been cool to have that this semester. But not when you have to play.

Let me explain:

      My Book of Mormon class is on Thursdays and I typically like to get to class about 10 minutes early. When I walked in, my professor had asked everyone else (all 3 of them... and all girls) if they had any experience playing the piano. And none of them did. (such liars....) Anyways, so she turned to me and said, "I'm sorry I don't know your name yet, but do you have any piano playing experience?"
Here came the time to decide... should I hide my tale---uhhh ability to play, or do I "set it on a hill"? Personally I felt like I had no choice because lightening would've struck me down if I denied my ability.
And so I played the opening hymn for my Book of Mormon class. All 100+ of us. Never before has "I'm a Child of God" been so hard to play!
I thought about this chance and I wondered how many other people are out there, hiding their abilities because they feel as though they aren't good enough to preform as other people might be.

How much talent is hidden in this world?

     A couple hours after the class I had kind of forgotten about the whole thing, in an attempt to brush it off and all the while promising myself that I'll just come 5 minutes early instead to avoid being asked again. But the experience resurfaced yesterday after Brother Wilson called me to "chat". (PS: No member of the Bishopric calls just to "chat". "Chatting" is like a red flag warning something new/big/exciting/alarming is about to come your way). I can say this now since it's been announced but I got called to be a Sunday School instructor for the BYU 20th ward. I knew I'd say yes to whatever calling I got but I honestly did NOT expect this calling. This year's course of study is the New Testament. The actual LIFE OF CHRIST. What if I taught this wrong? That would literally be the ULTIMATE sin! Fire and brimstone would fall from the sky in a very narrow pathway so as to only hit me!

Obviously I've exaggerated that in an attempt to illustrate my nervousness for this calling. Just in case that wasn't entirely obvious.

But the point stands. I am NOT a scriptorian by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not an orator. I've ALWAYS had a difficult time completely expressing my thoughts and now I will be responsible for the instruction of the Savior's life to my own peers!

And then, like I said above, I remembered the experience I had on Thursday. What I considered about hiding my talents doesn't apply in exactly the same way to this experience, but my realization of the mere fact that God has given us certain talents is applicable. The common saying "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh" comes to mind. If Heavenly Father wants me to have this calling, and I know that He does, then He will give me the ability to do this, whether or not I feel adequate enough for the task. Who knows? Maybe teaching will become a talent that I'll gain.

And then, maybe I'll be more confident in myself to stop hiding the gifts I've been given.

Maybe I'll even attempt a rousing edition of "Master the Tempest is Raging" for my Book of Mormon class.

actually, maybe not.

Here's to new experiences, new stresses and new learning!

Onward Winter Semester

I'm not going to be sunshine and daisies for a second, this semester is going to be brutal. I've now attended every class that I'll have for the next 3 months, looked at the syllabus and immediately felt all semblance of a social life fade into the background.

Anatomy 220 (with lab)

Chemistry 105 (every day)

Nutrition 100 (75 min. 2x a week)

and Book of Mormon 121

I suppose I really shouldn't complain though. I've already basically taken these classes before at Green River. I love the Anatomy class, didn't try very hard in the Chemistry class... as well as the Nutrition. This week won't be too hard because we're discussing the scientific method. Again. People, I know what the independent variable, control group and operational definitions are in this experiment but I digress.

Anatomy is going to be amazing. BYU has the unique opportunity to work with cadavers in the labs! Most colleges don't because of the expense and because of the contract issues with the families and the hospitals that they receive the bodies from. I'm incredibly pumped to actually see thing like: which muscle performs which function, the nerves that produce the reflexes and the sections of the brain that secrete the growth hormones.

Chemistry is my first class at BYU that is scheduled for every day and it will be grueling. On Tuesdays and Thursdays we have Recitation Day. We meet with our TA's (they're called RL's (recitation leaders)) and we discuss the lectures, go over practice problems and work on the assigned worksheets. I met my RL yesterday and I'm slightly nervous... I'm sure she's a phenomenal and brilliant person but I just can not understand her. She's from India. Unfortunately that time is the only slot that works for my schedule but fortunately there are about 15 other TA's that have review sessions offered throughout the week.

Nutrition is going to be a really fun class! Carly and one of my FHE brother's Andrew is in it and my VT AND my neighbor across the hall too! The teacher is no-nonsense, which I really appreciate but he does have a slightly sarcastic/sadistic/witty humor which is highly entertaining.

Book of Mormon... it's hard to get a read on this teacher. It's her first time teaching BoM, usually a warning indicator right? She's from one of the arts departments and she's a children's book illustrator. Think Mary Poppins/ Sis. Hinckley on steroids mmkay? She's very sweet... and slightly scatter brained (not to say that Mary Poppins or Sis. Hinckley were!). This is probably because this is her first experience with a religion class. Maybe that will make it an easy class!

Who am I kidding. This is BYU.

Anyways, so last night our dorm had our reunion! Jillian was the last to get home (to Provo) so we waited for her before we started our party. Kimmie and I brought back the pizza, while Elizabeth brought home ice cream and Jill covered the cookies. ;) We decided before we left that we would make short clips of our break so that we could share a bit of home and our experiences away with each other. It turned out to be a really really fun night. Kimmie went all out and made a freaking movie haha.

After that we exchanged gifts (we drew names before we left). Jill had me and I got...

FOOTIE PAJAMAS!!!!!

Best gift ever. What a great first night back with everyone!

It's been really great being back. Although due to my current exhaustion I realize that I did not fully appreciate the decompression time that break allowed me to have.

We've got some new people in our ward. I think I've met about 3 and one of them is a new FHE brother since 2 aren't returning this semester due to their missions. One is actually in the MTC right now!

Anyways, there you have it! Just an update in the life of me.

PS: I don't personally like "comment lobbying" but if you're reading this, will you comment with a shout out/heads up? I can't help but wondering who is actually taking the time to sort through this jargon. haha.

New Years!

For New Years this year I finally went to the much-talked-about YSA dance in Seattle. Over the last 2 years rumor has it that this particular dance was off the hook (as much as a Mormon dance can be you know?) so I was pretty excited.
And that was an epic fail. Epic because the anticipation was more exhilarating than the actual event. Nothing could've really been improved by the dance committee. The attendance was great, the music pretty good, as well as the food. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood to dance or whatever, but I was somewhat disappointed. I was definitely not at BYU anymore.
I think it was just the lack of friends there. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't friend-less, but those there weren't the people I've been dying to see.

Anyways, I've decided that I better put into words my resolution, otherwise they're going to linger as thoughts until my short-term memory forgets about them. It will also help me to avoid spontaneously remembering them sometime in March and feel disappointed in my lack of diligence.

1. Read my scriptures EVERY DAY
2. Do something that makes me sweat every day.
3. Learn for the joy of learning and not for the grade.
4. Run in the Ragnar Relay race in July.
5. Serve someone each day.

Honestly, I have put a lot of time into thinking about these goals. Mostly because this marks the first year I've made New Year's Resolutions and I didn't want to go about it lightly or superficially either. I feel good about these ones though! :)

I hope you guys had a great New Year's too!